Now, somebody sent me this video and I thought that it would be interesting to review it and the woman is saying that I don’t know if she said that she was divorced, but I know that she said she was broken starting over and she had just got out of a relationship. Anyways, let’s spend 10 to 15 minutes on this as a final part of the show. Make sure you guys hit a like for the YouTube algorithm, subscribe to the channel and turn on your notifications. Apparently she’s 39. This is hard. My name is Elle and I burned through my savings of about $80,000.

I burned through my entire 401k. I am 39 years old and I am currently living in my boyfriend’s parents house and I’m starting over. This is video number one. I’m creating a YouTube channel on my personal finance journey from the bottom, hopefully all the way up to the top. And she’s living in her boyfriend’s parents house. You burned through your savings, burned through your 401k, but you never, under any circumstances, you just gonna have to act broke. Burn through your 401k. You living with a boyfriend at 39 years old. She is decent looking. I’m not gonna take that away from her.

I don’t know if she got any kids, but she’s 39 years old, burned through everything, debt savings, and she’s starting off. And again, because we don’t shame women, let’s be clear. We don’t like to shame women. We don’t like, you know what we say? Any man still living in his parents house should not be dating. Oh, I cannot tell you how many times that I heard that one. Any man still living with his parents past the age of 30 years old, he don’t need to be focused on getting into no relationship. He need to be focused on making sure that he get his life together.

He need to get his money up. He need to be focused on his self. He ain’t got no time to be trying to be out here chasing on women. But this chick can monkey branch and be living in her boyfriend’s parents house, not even married. Not even married. Can be living in her boyfriend’s parents house. And because she got some streaks in her hair, right, and she got on a blouse or whatever this is, showing some cleavage because she knows how to market. I give her that. All of a sudden, all of a sudden we give credit and we have sympathy for her.

I have not seen it past this point. And so I’m looking forward to reviewing it. I like to give credit to the content creator. So her name is Don’t Be a Lemon. Don’t Be a Lemon. As of the recording of this video in this live stream, she has 2600 subscribers on YouTube. Go and check out her channel. If you like her content, then let her know to the Anton from AntonDaniels.com set you. Let’s get into it, y’all. Oh, shoot. Let me see if I can pull it back up real quick. This is the bottom. Hoping forward is because I’ve watched tons and tons of videos and podcasts on personal finance journeys with couples, with individuals.

And very rarely do I see somebody that I can actually relate to. So my hope is that there’s at least one person that I can reach who might be able to relate to me. So I’m on a personal finance journey to get out of debt and rebuild my investment accounts and my savings account. How I got here. I was in a relationship for 10 years with a partner who was very comfortable financially. And in the beginning, everything was separate and I paid for my own stuff. And I was more careful with my money. But as time went on and we started to combine everything.

She was in a relationship. Hold on. Let me back up for a minute. Give me a second. I’m a C student. I’m a little slow. Financially. And in the beginning, everything was separate and I paid for my own stuff and I was more careful with my money. But as time went on and we started to combine everything, I didn’t honestly have to care about budgeting or money or anything. Spending was allowed and encouraged. I did have my own job, but I was making about I was making about one hundred and ten to twenty thousand dollars a year.

And I am ashamed to say, aside from what went into my 401k, I couldn’t tell you where any of that money went. So she was in a relationship. You know how y’all don’t like to go 50 50? The man takes care of everything. His money is y’all money. I don’t know if she said she was in a marriage relationship. I missed that part. His money is y’all money. Y’all money is your money. His money is y’all money. Her money is your money or her money is her money. So she was making between one hundred and ten, one hundred and twenty thousand dollars a year and was just ball and spending.

Didn’t care about anything whatsoever. And I got a sneak in suspicion that she gonna start to blame some of the stuff on him. But he let her do when he had she had the freedom to be able to do anything that she wanted to do. I’m gonna read this cash app shortly. She had the freedom to do anything that she wanted to do. And you know what she did? She ran up a bunch of debt. She fumbled the bag and she increased her spending in order to be able to chase her lifestyle. That’s what I’m hearing right now.

Mostly went to beauty products, clothing and shoes. And I paid for the groceries in the house, but he pretty much carried everything else. And so for years and years, I just kept spending more and more money. So that was the only benefit, honestly, to this relationship. So after 10 years, I decided to call it quits. Anything out here, it wasn’t the only benefit. We actually did have a really good relationship for a decent amount of time. There were a lot of good times and benefits. He was a lovely man, is a lovely man and very kind and generous.

But there were also some major issues that made me leave and walk away. I didn’t care. It was very toxic and it was mentally draining. And I had. Is this bipolar? Is this woman bipolar? So she had a cut in video where she basically said, OK, I was lying. It wasn’t the only benefit to the relationship that he basically let me do whatever it is that I wanted whenever I wanted. He pay all of the bills, made sure I had a roof over my head, took care of all the utilities, cars, everything like that. And the only thing that she had to do is buy her own groceries.

And so she had to cut in and basically say, hey, listen, that’s not really what the case was. He actually was a good dude. It’s not the only thing that was beneficial for the relationship, because if that was the only thing that was beneficial for the relationship, then that means that you was using him. If you was only using him for what he could do for you and then she cut back in and was basically saying that the relationship was toxic. All right, let’s continue to leave. So I left three years ago and I decided to get into real estate and I knew once I got into real estate, I knew I had a cushion.

I had a savings of about $80,000 and I knew it would take a long time to get going in real estate. But I underestimated the amount of money so that she can have a cushion when she left it. And I never stopped my spending. I never cut back. So I still kind of spent like I had that money coming in and had that money to spend and I didn’t. And I just kept thinking in my head stupidly that like it will all work out. It’s all going to be fine. And my sister used to ask me all the time like, don’t you have a budget? Don’t you care? And I’m like, it’s going to work out.

It’s going to be totally fine. It wasn’t fine. It wasn’t fine. So I didn’t have a job during my real estate time and I had a rent of $2,500 and I had a spending problem. So I did cut back a little bit because I had so much clothing and shoes and everything from that relationship that I didn’t need a lot. But it was just like little things that I would buy like eyeshadow and lipstick and a pair of shoes here and there and a coat here and there. And these things add up when you don’t have an income coming in.

So as time went on, I kept spending more. I ended up draining my savings and I didn’t want to give up real estate because I loved it. And I was like, I just need to make this work. At some point, I will start making money and I will refill it. So I started draining my 401k and that went really fast. I stupidly drained it three times. So I paid taxes, I think three different times if I’m not mistaken. Listen, y’all, the first thing that you got to know when you’ve seen the ADK leaving out, then you got to understand that.

Maybe either you just not good at your job or it’s going to take you a little bit longer to get your feet under yourself. And so you burn through $80,000 in cash and then you started taking money out of your 401k. Never, ever take an early withdrawal penalty out of your 401k. Ever. It is the worst tax situation that you could ever make in your entire life. Listen, that is the biggest mistake that you will make. Some people think that it’s cool. I’m telling you that it’s not smart. Under no circumstances, you just going to have to act like the money don’t exist.

Under no circumstances do you take your money out of your 401k. And I still kept thinking it was going to be fine and I didn’t see a problem with it. So finally, last year, I decided to leave real estate because I can’t deal with it. I had a mental breakdown. I was literally crying about 10 times a day and I said I need to get a job. So I got a job. And to back up a little bit, when I was with my ex, I was still working. So I was in marketing. I did a lot of media ad buying, buying like Google ads, Microsoft ads.

So I decided to get a job. I want to stay in the real estate industry and the real estate industry and marketing, they don’t pay a lot. So I took a job as a very entry level job as a marketing coordinator at $65,000 a year. And honestly, I still kept spending. I cut back a decent amount, but I wasn’t careful. And I thought I was being careful, but I didn’t realize it until I started budgeting that I wasn’t careful at all. Oh shit, cat lady. So fast forward. This is how I discovered personal finance saving and why I should care and why I’m down this journey and rabbit hole of saving everything.

Because I’ve done a complete 360 in my mindset and my spending habits and my saving habits in a very short period of time. And this is what started it. I was watching Ramit Sethi’s YouTube channel. I will teach you to be rich. And in this YouTube channel, if you haven’t watched it, I highly recommend it. He interviews couples from all different places, income brackets, everything. Some of them are worth millions. Some of them only make maybe minimum wage. But all in all, the theme through it is that they are not great with their finances and they need help figuring out where to cut back and where to start saving and how to start saving.

And so I started listening and I decided to pick up his book. So I picked up his book and read it very quickly, probably within a few days. And I decided I was going to look at what I was spending. At this point, this is like three months ago, I did not actually fully know what I was spending. So I went through my bank account and I wrote down everything and come to find out I was spending, I think, more on my wants than on my fixed costs. And my fixed costs were high. So this is not a good thing.

I was basically just spending a lot of money, even though I thought I was being better. Like a few months ago, I cut back because I’m in this mode now where I don’t want a lot of things in clutter and it’s been overwhelming to me. So I’m trying to stop, but I’m still it’s these little things that compound on top of each other and whether it’s like extra spending at the grocery store or going out to eat too often, anything. It just the things add up. So I did my budget and I said, holy crap, I need to do something about this.

And this is weird. So basically, old habits are hard to break. And a lot of people do the same thing, to be honest with y’all. So you’re not actually benefiting from most of the things that you’re spending your money on. We buy and we spend money at the mall. We go and spend money on Amazon. We go in, you know what I’m saying? Basically buy a bunch of stuff and we go out to eat. We overspend at the grocery store. We feel like we deserve to go and take ourselves out and treat ourselves and all of this stuff.

And we really don’t have any financial discipline whatsoever. So what she’s basically telling you guys is that even though she realized she had a problem like a crack in it, she couldn’t get off the crack. She couldn’t get off the crack. A lot of y’all don’t know that a lot of these things that these people are spending on and having a conversation about is truly an addiction. It’s truly they are addicted to shopping and addicted to trying to impress other people. I know people that buy cars that they can’t afford and they say that they’re going to figure it out later because they got to keep up with the Joneses and all of this stuff.

And so she got a spending problem. She got an addiction problem. And one of the things that I tell people a lot of times, especially men, is do not find yourself in a situation with a person that is not equally yoke. Being equally yoke is not just spiritually. It’s somebody that will drag you down financially. I don’t believe in dating broke women at all. I don’t think that anybody should get in a relationship with a woman that does not know how to take care of herself and do the minimum possible as an adult financially. There’s no reason in the same way that they hold men accountable and say you shouldn’t be in a relationship if you broke.

There’s the same way that y’all need to be holding women accountable and saying you shouldn’t be in a relationship until you fix yourself first because there’s nobody that should be able to save you out of your own situation. This is my personal opinion. Here I am today. I have created a budget for myself. And I’m using the YNAB app. It stands for You Need a Budget, I think. And so far, this is I use the app once, didn’t get it. It was super confusing, deleted it, and then re-uploaded it. And so far, I’ve been using it.

And I think it’s been spectacular. It’s been a godsend. It is incredibly helpful, but I’m still struggling a lot. And these are my struggles. This is why I felt like it was really hard to find somebody that I could relate to. I’m going to read that super chest for me. I also belong to a lot of Reddit groups and I watch a lot of other different YouTube channels on this as of recently. And the reason why I feel like it’s been hard to find somebody that I can relate to is because I suffer from body dysmorphic disorder.

Because yesterday we did a review video. And we had a woman that was getting her Uber Tesla repossessed. Tesla she was using to do Uber in. And she was basically getting evicted out of her crib and getting her and all of this stuff. And then she went right into the same type of theory of I have body dysmorphic disorder or something. And I wound up looking it up on the internet to see exactly what it was. And it’s all a piece of BS. Honestly, man, honestly, that has nothing to do with your financial situation. And I’m not really sure how it’s relevant, but I’m assuming that she’s going to bring us back to the front of the congregation and help us to understand it.

Which is a I don’t know a ton about it, which is sad because I suffer from it. But it is a form of obsessive compulsive disorder, but you are obsessive about your appearance. And so to be totally blunt, my excessive buying with makeup, with clothing, with shoes, with hair, with spray tanning is all due to low self-esteem. And they got a description for everything. Everything is a disease. Everything is a disorder. No, you just want to impress people and you want to continue to put yourself forward and you don’t want to make the sacrifice. And so you’re trying to justify the way that you spend by saying that it’s a disease.

No, you just got a spending problem. Hey, what happened to the days where people could just get told straight up? Hey, man, listen, you’re just a base head, bro. You keep doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Let’s call it the definition of it. Just be you a base head. That’s what they used to tell. Oh, what? Man, you’re doing the same thing that these crackheads is doing on the street, except for you doing it with your finances. Eventually, you’re going to find yourself in the same space as them. And then it will scare straight.

It wasn’t all of this body dysmorphic disorder that you wasn’t even diagnosed with. But you just assume that that’s what it is because you keep buying spray tan and eyeliner and all of this crap. That’s not what it is. That’s not what it is. You used to a certain lifestyle. Some other dude ruined you by allowing you to continue to simp out and set out for you and allowing for you to not be responsible for your money. You’re trying to make an excuse and saying that you’re not financially literate, but you was able to go and get a degree and then ultimately get a job in certain industries that then allow for you to be able to market effectively.

But you don’t know how to read and understand exactly what your budget is. I’m not going for it, bro. I don’t care how cute you are. I’m not going for it. That’s a way to make me feel prettier, better about myself and worthy. The reason why I say I feel like I can’t relate to a lot of people that I’ve seen, and maybe they just haven’t expressed this on the video, is that the women, especially that I’ve heard, don’t especially seem to care so much about aesthetic or appearance. It’s fine to not purchase clothing for a few years or not get your hair done.

This is a problem of mine, I know, but this is incredibly important. When I say that these things are important, what I mean to say is that these things are important to me and not because I think that everybody should dress well or take care of yourself or however you want to. What I mean is that if I’m not presented in a certain way that makes me feel comfortable, then the thoughts of feeling ugly take over my mind and feeling which makes me feel undervalued. I’m going to skip past all of this. I want to see you get to the shame part.

Where’s the shame? Oh, and I just want to say one last thing is that I have a lot of shame and anxiety around this. In fact, nobody in my life, not even my partner, nobody knows. Referring to him as your partner, red flag on the play. That I max out my 401K when I was in real estate to make ends meet. The person that she with don’t even know her financial status, but she’s staying in their parents’ bedroom. Jesus Christ. She just said she told all of y’all. Listen, y’all listen, listen, listen. She told all of us on the Internet about the fact that she went broke and she ain’t got no 401K.

But the very person that she lay next to every day inside of his parents’ house don’t even know that this chick is broke, broke and don’t have no kind of retirement savings whatsoever. This is called financial abuse, y’all. Look, listen, this is called y’all don’t want to acknowledge it. Y’all try to act like men don’t go through it. We’re not surprised and all of that. Y’all want to know what we do for a living and how much we make. This is called financial abuse. She is in a relationship with a man that don’t know nothing about her in real life.

She could be a serial killer now for all I know. Absolutely. This is called financial abuse. Asriel says he’ll dump her quick. No he not. No he not. You know why? Because a new simp is found every single day and it’s one of the reasons why she feel compelled in my personal opinion to keep up her appearances because she always needs to be validated by somebody in her life that ultimately thinks that she’s pretty. And she can use that in order to monkey branch over into the next guy that she’s going to label her partner.

A lot of shame around it and especially like draining my savings too. I have a ton of shame around this. And so instead of telling one person and exposing it, I’m literally telling the whole world. This is basic activity in my opinion. So again, if y’all want to go and check out her channel, it’s called Don’t Be a Lemon. As of right now we’ve got 2,600 subscribers but more importantly, I’m sure that there’s a bunch of simps and supportive women in the chat. It’s okay. You’re going to have this financial journey and we’re going to take it with you.

I’m in the same boat and I didn’t tell my partner either. Crazy. Crazy. [tr:trw].

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