➡ The article discusses the concept of grief and how it is perceived differently across cultures. It explains that grief can be caused by the loss of something we desire or the gain of something we want to avoid. The author suggests that by recognizing both the positive and negative aspects of what we’ve lost, we can better manage our grief. He also proposes that when someone important leaves our life, others often step in to fill their roles, which can help us cope with the loss.

➡ The text discusses the harmful effects of prolonged grief and presents a method to overcome it. This method involves recognizing both the positive and negative aspects of the person who has passed away, and acknowledging that others have stepped in to fill the roles that the deceased person once played. This process helps to dissolve grief and allows individuals to move forward, as demonstrated by a woman who was able to overcome her grief over her mother’s death and a woman who found new opportunities after her father’s death.

➡ A man developed a unique method to help people overcome grief, which was tested and proven successful in Japan and Ireland. The method, part of a seminar called the “Breakthrough Experience,” helps people understand and appreciate the lives of their lost loved ones, freeing them from sorrow. The method was so effective that it was used to help people cope with tragedies like the 2011 tsunami in Japan and the violence in Belfast, Ireland. The method is now being taught to others, including teenagers, to help more people deal with grief.

➡ A group of people, including three men who had committed murder, three women related to the victims, and several others, participated in a healing session using the Demartini method. This method helped them express and dissolve their resentments towards each other. The session resulted in a profound shift in the room’s energy, with one woman even thanking the man who killed her family. Despite the success of the method, it faced resistance from religious and psychological communities due to their established beliefs and practices.

➡ The text emphasizes the importance of our perceptions in dealing with loss and grief. It suggests that we should not let the death of someone paralyze us with grief, but instead, live our lives to the fullest as the deceased would have wanted. The text also discusses the inevitability of death and the importance of embracing both life and death as two sides of the same coin. Lastly, it encourages us to live in alignment with our values and pursue what we find most meaningful.

➡ The text discusses the Demartini method for dealing with grief, which involves recognizing both the positive and negative aspects of a lost loved one. This method helped a woman who lost her husband and son to see the benefits that came from their deaths, such as escaping a violent home and gaining a better lifestyle. She was able to express gratitude towards the man responsible for their deaths, as she saw him as the catalyst for her improved life. The text emphasizes the importance of embracing both sides of a person and not letting societal expectations dictate our feelings or actions.

➡ The speaker shares his personal experience of feeling angry and depressed during a two-year church mission, realizing it was because he was living according to someone else’s values, not his own. He discovered his true values are spending time with his children, learning new things, and teaching others. Living according to these values has brought him happiness and fulfillment. He encourages others to live authentically according to their own values to find inspiration and joy in life.

Foreign I’m Dr. Bryan Ardis, host of the Dr. Ardis show, and this is a very special edition of the Dr. Ardis show where I’m going to spend some time with someone I have actually quoted for the last 15 years to either my patients, family members, or individuals that I found were suffering from emotional upset, emotional traumas in their life, grief, loss. And I have sat at the foot, the feet of individuals around the world who have learned things I had not yet learned. And so as my awareness to tools and knowledge that I’d never gained or been exposed to, it has transformed the way I see my life, the way I operate in life, and the way I educate and inspire others hoping they can learn.

There are other ways of thinking, other ways of behaving, other ways of taking action to remove burdens that literally paralyze, confuse and misguide us in the directions of our lives that we’re intended to achieve. And one of those individuals that I found who really challenged my entire indoctrinations and belief systems growing up was someone I was introduced by a dear friend of mine and I might as well credit them. It’s Lee Wolak and his wife Jean. They actually run Agape Spiritual Healing here in Dallas, Texas. And he invited me to come listen to a guy who was coming to listen to his congregation and or come speak to his congregation.

So I went and listened and within a few days he was doing a three day seminar here in Dallas, Texas. I signed up, attended that with my buddy, Reverend Lee Woolak. And there were just times he would drop a statement and I would have to block out everything he was talking because and saying after that statement, because his mind works a thousand miles an hour like mine does and he’s speaking at a thousand miles an hour. So I would just zone it out and then reflect on what he just said. Could I make sense of it, rationalize it and see how it applied in my life? And I’ve said this over and over.

My children now quote this statement. Dr. John DeMartini is going to be our guest. I’m going to bring him on here in just a second. But he said this and I was like, wait a minute. He said, there’s not a moment in our lives where we experience grief, depression, anger, frustration, unless in that moment, no matter if it’s a second, that that depression lasts or that upset last. Frustration last. You’ve never had a moment in your life where you were frustrated, upset, angry or depressed unless you were subordinating yourself to someone else’s values that were not your own.

And then he kept talking. And I have. I remember sitting there going, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, back up. I have to figure out if that applies in my own personal life. And it was just one aha moment after another. I have actually introduced these concepts, this reality to my children. My children to this day, 15 years later. My oldest is 25. So this tells you how young they were when I first introduced this information to them. They constantly will look at their friends and they will go like this, well, who are you subordinating your values to in your time? To that’s not your own? And.

And the people in the friends in middle school and high school, like, what are you talking about? Well, you’re depressed, you’re angry, you’re frustrated. What are you upset about? You must be subordinating your time, your energy to someone else’s values that are not your own. And this is one of the coolest things I’d ever heard. I instantly spent just a few seconds and figured out that almost every moment of my life where I was stuck in anger, frustration, or depression, it was absolutely true. Someone else had something that was a mission of theirs, a value to theirs, and I was subordinating all my time and energy to what they valued.

And it wasn’t anything that had to do with my own core values. But then I realized something. Before the night even ended, this was just the first discussion I heard him talking. I was like, wait a minute. I’m not sure I know what my values are. These inherent values he’s talking about, how do we know what those are? And then there were certain things I learned during the breakthrough experience of his, where it was like, oh, okay, this is how you start figuring out what it is. You were wired by God, by your own design, are the core values of your life.

And we’ll talk about some of that stuff here. But there’s also some incredible opportunities, I think, here to discuss what I also learned from Dr. John Demartini, which was his fascination with a specific topic that so many people around the world right now, for many reasons, related to loss during COVID 19 disfigurement, being injured with the COVID 19 vaccines, losing their job, not being able to supply their money to their families, take care of their families, travel, do whatever it is they love that were their values that they loved during COVID 19, the pandemic. Then we’re only like a year and a half out, and Charlie Kirk gets murdered in front of the whole world to watch, witness, and feel.

And there’s a lot of people I Can feel it. Those who are impasse of any kind can feel, feel There’s a very heavy moment for a lot of people around the world, regardless of what they knew about Charlie Kirk. It is a, a really disgusting act that just has a paralyzing effect and an impact on us emotionally. All right, so to talk about and to introduce you to everyone, I appreciate your love, your trust, your admiration. I want to introduce you to somebody who I met years ago and we’re going to spend some time with them today.

This is Dr. John Demartini. All right, how was that for an intro? Dr. John Demartini, I may not have absolutely quoted you correctly, but I bet I summarized it pretty close. Well, that’s a beginning. That is a beginning. Let’s, let’s hope I can deliver something of value now. You will. Dr. John Demartini, I want you to explain to the audiences who you are. Some people may not know who you are. I was introduced to you first by a friend of mine, a friend of yours, Reverend Lee Wolek and his wife Jean. I would like you to talk about your background, who, who you are, what it is you’re passionate about and where it is they can find you and follow you.

You’re an author, multi time author. You do presentations all over the world, you travel around the world. Why? What drives you, what motivates you and what are you passionate about? I am. I consider myself an educator, a researcher, a writer and a world traveler because I do. I’ve spoken 161 countries and. Anything to do with maximizing human awareness and potential. Anything to do with the evolvement of human consciousness. Anything to do with living a more magnificent, inspired life to achieve what it is that’s deeply inside you that you want to bring to the world. That’s what I’ve been interested in.

And anything to do with maximizing any of the seven primary areas of life, which is waking up genius, building a career, building wealth, having a stable family dynamic, having social influence, physical fitness and longevity and being inspired. Those are the topics that I am most interested in. And I just research, write and travel and teach. That’s it. That’s my, that’s my background. But doing this teaching, November will be 53 years. That’s awesome. And you look 29. All right, so now everybody at home, I’m, I’m 71 in two months. So on my 71st birthday, it’ll be 53 years later at that point.

All right, so now, Dr. John Demartini, off of our off air. Before we started this Interview you. And I just started chatting and catching up to, you know, 15 years ago when we last met. And I just happened to mention that I think this. The timing isn’t a miss. And I don’t think. I think everything happens for a reason. And timing is just perfect all the time. So you are now here, and I mentioned on the intro about the fact that so many people are grieving right now or have had an a opposite reaction, even that’s disgusted a lot of people.

And celebrating the murder of a very influential young man named Charlie Kirk. Now, I have felt the depression. I have felt the weight of ugliness, sadness, grief, loss for the family, the kids, the wife. And then you’re watching this really disgusting, it appears celebratory reaction of a whole lot of people. And some of the things you said off air, I was like, wow, push pause. Let me hit record. I want you to dive into where you started Studying grief in 1976. Go to the guy in Iran, go there again. And then the two types of the two causes for grief or two types of grief.

All right, this is going to be. I think it’s going to blow your mind. Everybody pay attention. I always learn every time he opens his mouth. I was surfing in el Salvador in 1976, and I just come in from surfing in the morning and I had me a peanut butter sandwich and I was starting to walk through the little town of La Libertad, and there was a procession of 200 people, I’d guess. And they were celebrating with colorful outfits and white and just celebration. And so I quickly was wondering, what’s going on over there? And I started to catch up with the group.

And finally I asked a guy. I didn’t have a complete Spanish language, but I asked a guy, kipasa, what’s happening? You know, what’s the celebration? And the gentleman spoke some English and he said, we’re celebrating the death of the mayor of this town, the Libertad. And I thought what most up until that point in my life when I heard of grief and death, I saw people wear black, covering up their faces, mourning, crying, being kind of subdued, not talk. And that was my frame of reference. I that’s all I knew. When people die, that’s what people did.

And here they’re doing exactly the opposite. They’re celebrating. There’s a party. I followed them down to the cemetery. They put the man in a little casket into the ground, covered him up, and then released a bird into the air and said, his spirit is free. And they were celebrating the freedom of his spirit. He’s no longer in the physical, mortal body that’s constrained. And people were celebrating and partying and cheering and about his freedom. And I walked away from there going complete two opposite views about death, and here’s a celebratory, and the other one is a misery.

And so I started to probe in 1976, what exactly is grief? And I went and studied whatever literature I could find on it, and I found the neurochemistry of it, and I found the neurological components to the neural correlates of it. I found the philosophical, eschatological, theological views of it. And you know, what happens in the afterlife, and is there a afterlife? And if so, is it eternal? Is it transient? Is it reincarnating? Is it incarnating? Is it returning? Is it going to the sky? I mean, every imaginable. Is it part of the ancestors? I looked at all the different vehicles, but I was interested in a practical tool on how do I transform people that are grieving into somebody who’s now celebrating? How is.

How does that occur? What was the framework? And in my research, I found out that there are two sources of grief, only two. The perception of loss of something you seek, which in the brain, in the subcortical amygdala and hippocampus, is called prey. We seek prey, food to eat. And the perception of loss of that is a form of grief. Imagine if somebody’s putting a nice meal in front of you and then pulled it away and you’re really hungry, you’d have a grief response. Or if somebody had a drug dependency and took it away from you, couldn’t get access to it, you’d have the signs of grief response.

The other source of it is the perception of gain of that which you don’t want, what you’re trying to avoid, which is predator. So the perception of loss of prey, which could cause you starving to death, and the perception of gain of predator, which is being eaten to death, both are death responses, both are perceptions of no longer existing initiate the grief response. So then I looked at the neurochemistry, and I found that oxytocin and vasopressin and endorphins and dopamine and that are released by the fantasies we have about people that we fear the loss of, or the fantasies about anything that we seek that we fear the loss of.

If all of a sudden we had our entire fortune in our bank account taken, we’d have the grief over the loss because we are attached and have pleasure, as in. And in Kefalons associated with the money or a close loved one, a boyfriend that leaves, a girlfriend that leaves. So anything that we perceive that has got more advantages than disadvantages, more pleasures than pains, more positives than negatives, if we perceive a loss of it, we’re going to have a grief response. And anything that we perceive that is more negatives than positives and more disadvantages than advantages, and we perceive the gain of it, we can have grief.

If all of a sudden our ex boyfriend that we don’t ever want to talk to again moves in next door with his new girlfriend and is making love outside with making noises right next to you, and you’re. You’d be grieving the gain of this person that you don’t want to have to listen to. Great analogy. So any perception of loss of that which you seek, any perception of gain of that which you try to avoid, initiates grief. Now, when we perceive somebody that we are infatuated with, that we like, that we admire and put on a pedestal, we are conscious of the upsides and unconscious of the downsides.

When we perceive somebody that’s now a predator that we resent and we don’t want to be around, we’re perceiving more downsides than upsides. Although our intuition is trying to reveal to us the side we’re ignoring and that we’re unconscious of, our impulses and instincts of our amygdala are trying to dramatize them into more pleasures and pains, more pains and pleasures. And therefore we grieve or, you know, grieve to get loss or gain of something. So what I do is I go in there and ask questions and make people fully conscious of both sides of people. So the things you admire about him, what are the downsides to it? Not disrespectfully.

I don’t want to make anything up. I just want you to look at what you overlooked. And if we can find the downside to what you’re infatuated with, as we find the downside. For instance, when you ask people to make a list of what they’re grieving the loss of, they’ll say their smiles, they’ll say their conversations, they’ll say, you know, the way they cooked. Or they’ll say the way we walked and did things together and when they played and they had a sense of humor they don’t ever write down. I really miss their dirty hair in the sink.

I really miss their cursing at me. I really miss their verbal criticisms. I really miss the way they disrespected I really miss the way they left their mouth open while they ate their dinner. Yeah, the mouth open when they ate it in. Exactly. You never miss things that you perceive challenging to your values. You only miss things that you perceive supported your values. But the truth is every human being has things you like and dislike that you can look up to and down on, admire and despise. The longer you get to know somebody, the more they are self evident.

When you first meet somebody, you might infatuate with them and be blind to the downsides. But if you’re with them for any period of time, you get to see both sides. You can ask any husband or wife that’s been married for many, many years. They can rattle off the things they like and dislike equally pretty quick. Exactly right. But when they have any more advantages over disadvantages, positives over negatives, gains over losses, pleasures over pains associated with it, and that person disappears, departs or deceased, then there’s going to be grief. If I can go in there and find out what are the downsides and, and not make anything up, but just make them re conscious of the parts that they’re overlooking and bring those into balance.

The grief automatically comes down. Guarantee it. Money back. Guarantee. I’ve been doing it on 5,000 death cases in front of this newspaper. I watched it miraculously work in front of me in two hours or less. It was incredible. It is very incredible. I do it every week and, and I also learned when I was 14 years old, when I was living on the street, because I was a street kid then, that different people showed up in my life to take over the roles of other people that were important in my life. And so I, I started asking when people depart or decease, what specific trait are you missing and who’s now emerged in your life to provide? Could be one very important.

Please pay attention to what he’s saying because I evaluated this in my own life and then asked my wife when I got home. And you could absolutely line up that when someone has left your life, walked out of your life, exited this physical frame in your life and died or passed on. What he is saying is absolutely true. I hope you’re listening. It’s amazing. Yeah. When the door shuts, a window opens, as the old Bible used to say. So if you can identify what the traits are that you miss and not be nebulous and not be general.

Oh, I miss everything about them. No you don’t. You miss only certain things about them. Identify what they are and find out who emerged immediately upon the departure and decease of that individual. When they deceased, you will find out that one or many, male or female, close or distant, real or virtual, self or other, they emerged until the quantity was equal. And it’s mind blowing to watch this. We’ve done this under studies at universities, We’ve done this at the Christchurch earthquake. We did it. Tsunami we did at the prefecture in Japan in 2016, big earthquake destruction.

We were asked to bring in our students and my facilitators to dissolve the grief in people. And we worked it and it was non stop dissolving grief over and over again. So people have this idea that you’re supposed to grieve. It’s healthy to grieve and it’s respected. It’s the farthest from the truth. If you stop and look really carefully at something and I’ve asked thousands of people this, I mean thousands, when you die, do you want the people you care about grieving and remorse and being distraught with prolonged grief syndrome for days, weeks, months or years after you leave? And they go, no, not one person can say that unless they’re joking.

And prolonged grief syndrome increases the probability of cancers, heart problems, digestive problems, immune suppressions, I mean, the list goes on. So we go through and we’ve been indoctrinated into the idea that you’re supposed to be grieving. That’s a healthy sign and that’s what you do because animals do it. And I’m not denying that they do, but I assure you that humans don’t have to. If you want to, fine. If you’re not asking for help, no problem. But know there’s a consequences for prolonged grief. A short little grief is not big deal, but a prolonged grief it is.

I worked with a lady in Japan about two weeks ago who had, let’s see, she was four years out of work, four years grieving over the death of her mom. We spent two hours and about 18 minutes dissolving it in front of the group lives. And when she first started, she could not think of one negative thing about her mom. She had this fantasy about her mom was, and she was taking it to this. She’s always happy, always kind, always speaking nice things, always just delusions about who her mom was. When we got down to the truth, she had suppressed a tremendous amount of stuff about her mom that she was actually holding frustrations about.

And anyway, we knocked it out and we were done. I asked her, can we even get grief out of you now? She couldn’t even identify grief. She actually felt the presence of her mom. And closed her eyes and spoke to her mom in her mind’s eye and said, thank you for being alive in my life. Thank you for your passing. The timing was perfect. That’s exactly the response that occurred in front of me. Live with you dealing with a woman there and I’ll give you. Give me an example, something I watched that I thought was just very incredible.

I just never thought about it. And I think most people just don’t take the time to sit back and go, this is how life occurs for every human being in an experience of grief. In this respect of this conversation in context. But you actually drew a line on a piece of paper and I’m sure you do it everywhere you go. And you’re like, you wrote the words benefits and drawbacks. What are the benefits and the drawbacks? And I remember the word itself, these words you chose. I was like, wait, Instead of pros and cons, positive negatives, it was benefits and drawbacks.

And every single choice we ever make, every single person in your life. One thing I learned from you and never really thought about, I was like, I’ve never heard this before, this is amazing, was that every single human being in your life has the exact amount of benefits in your life as they do drawbacks. And the number is identical. It ain’t different, it’s identical. So when you say this takes like a two hour process, it takes a while. For these individuals in grief who are looking at someone they have lost and they have all these great things, they miss their smile, their cooking, their time, their walks on the beach, whatever it was, their phone calls late at night, they will list all those things and you’ll go, great.

They’ll spend an hour doing that or so. And man, is it painstaking to watch these individuals when you go, great, now you know these individuals have exactly the same amount of drawbacks. I just told you that even though you haven’t looked at it yet. Now we’re not even going to start the process of healing or complete the healing process until you list and write out the exact amount of negative drawbacks of that individual being in your life. Go. And it’s amazing to watch these people list all this stuff out. And then from that you would take that list once they identified all the common same number of benefits and drawbacks, even though they were only focusing on the positive, which is what they think they’ve lost.

It’s incredible to then circle around at the end of this when they go, oh, they were just as bad as they were. Good for me. Great. Yep. They were just as positive as they were negative. Great. That’s when you love somebody. That’s when you love somebody. Then the next thing was you would go like this. Great. Now let’s look at these positives. You think you’re missing these benefits that you just listed that have been missing out of your life. And then you walk that person through, speaking out loud, who took that trait that you were benefiting from in your life that you think you’ve been missing this whole time, that you’ve been overlooking that when that individual passed, who gave you that list of benefits, who stepped in immediately upon that individual’s passing, you’ve been griefing, who is now providing that exact same benefit in your life, who wasn’t doing it before that moment? And as they walk through that, it is incredible to watch.

I watched this once with this one lady, her go and write the names of everybody who stepped up in her life ever since, who is replacing the benefits of that one individual that was lost. And all of a sudden there’s now this view of 30, 40, 50 people who stepped in immediately and spiritually guided, blessed by the individual who passed their spirit, just went into somebody else and provided the same values. And they weren’t even able to recognize it because they were focused on what they thought they had lost, when, in fact, life had just completely transformed.

And it was awesome, Dr. Demartini, to watch this lady. This lady had said one of the greatest benefits that you wrote on the list. And I know you’ve done thousands of these since I saw you 15 years ago, but I just have to say, think about this in your own life. It’s amazing. She wrote at the top. I miss my dad cooking for me every Wednesday night. As an adult. She would go over there every night and he would cook. And you asked her, what’s the drawback of him cooking for you every Wednesday night? Did. Did he let you cook? Did he let you contribute? No.

The drawback was she never learned how to cook. He wouldn’t let her. Even when she was growing up, he always had to cook. He had just high value on cooking, wanted to give food to his offspring, loved feeding. Some of the things he cooked, she didn’t really like anyway. Exactly right. So he. She would eat all this stuff, but never would always ask, can I contribute and be a part of this with you in the kitchen? No, just sit here, talk to me while I cook for you. I want to provide for you. What came out of this was this guy, the dad had died like 10 years earlier.

She’s paralyzed by grief, has not progressed in life, and never recognized that a friend of hers had appeared immediately when her dad passed who she had been taking advantage of just eating from every day. And this friend of hers, you asked her, how did the benefit of your dad cooking for you all the time that you never learned to cook, how did this show up in somebody else? And she goes, oh, my God. And wrote down the name of a person who now together, they do cooking evenings together. And you said, great, now. Now your dad’s gone, who was providing the food for you, but not allowing you to learn the art of cooking and the joy of cooking and preparing foods and meals.

What have you learned since then? Now that he’s not here? And she. And then all of a sudden, John, there was this massive aha moment. You could just see the light bulb went on. She goes, oh, my God. My friend and I actually created a cookbook and we now do a local TV cooking show. I would have never done that if my dad was still alive. He never allowed me to learn the lesson. But my friend immediately took over this love for cooking, wanted her to be a part of it and shared that love and value of cooking.

And now her whole life had transformed, but never saw that was a gift from her dad passing. And just like you said, this individual in Japan, she was able to acknowledge that the passing and the time of her mother’s passing was perfect. This is exactly what that. That same girl said in front of me. She’s like, thank you for being in my life. Thank you for loving me the way you did. And thank you. This is actually what she said. I just want to say thank you for dying. Like, it was like this perfect, like, aha moment.

Then the grief was gone, it was over. And it was amazing to watch her transformation when she recognized we had. When the tsunami hit in 2011, the coast, Fukushima, there, I was asked to go to the location where you saw on TV where they had just houses crashed into other houses. It was just a lot of people end up dying. And we went to a remnant of a hotel there shortly after this event and were asked with camera crews and everything else, go in there. Anybody who would like to come and work on grief or whatever.

Come. Well, we filled up this hotel ballroom and I. I first did a little presentation on grief and what it’s caused by. And then we asked for volunteers, anybody that’s got grief. And boy, all the hands went up because most people lost people in their minds at least. And then we had. They. They got to pick who they wanted me to demonstrate it. And the universe was so amazing because they picked the mayor’s wife. She was a survivor. The mayor died. So everybody in that room knew the mayor. And I got to do the mayor’s passing.

And with the mayor’s wife, the equivalent of the mayor we called a mayor. And so it took about two hours and maybe 11 minutes, I think, on that one. And when we got through, everybody learned a whole lot about the mayor that they didn’t know behind the scenes. And everybody was astonished at. She was just a big smile on her face. She was in gratitude. She was set free from a lot of burden, trying to live in his shadows. I mean, a whole bunch of things were going down and the real story came out. Not the facade that people would wear to look good, but it all came out.

And it was a very heart opening, honoring moment for everyone. I mean, the whole room, the wife, the mayor. I mean, it was really because now they got to love him for who he actually was. Not the facade that people imagined and not for the air that the wife would have portrayed and everything. Just that we got to love the person as a whole. Well, after we did that, we got asked by the political group there to also work in the 2016, which is five years later, earthquake. And we got to do the same thing there, except we got to do a whole lot more people, a lot of people there.

And afterwards, two professors from Kale University came and met with me at lunch and said, we’d like to talk about this grief process. We’re hearing about it, we’d like to do a study on it at Cal University. I said, great. And I said, I’m the originator of the work. I don’t have citations to go by because it’s not in the model of psychology. It’s an original piece of work. So they said, we’ll have to do a clinical study on it. So they gathered a group of people that had prolonged grief syndrome that were six months to six years of prolonged grief, not able to work, not functioning on medications, psychiatric medications, etc for grief.

And we had my facilitators there that had been trained in the method. I’ve trained about 2,000 of them in, in that country. And so we went to work and we timed it with translation because I had to do translation on some of mine, Japanese to English, 2 hours and 17 minute was the average. That’s awesome. And then they followed these individuals that had grief for a week, a month, three months, six months, nine months, 12 months, 15 months, and 18 months to see if there was any grief. Zero. 18 months, none. And they compared it to options or alternative approaches.

They got zero results. We got 100 results. Zero grief. And it’s because the paradigm of grief in most psychology is you grieve, it’s a sorrow, it’s pain, you lost something. The whole model is the idea that it’s presumed to be done and to not grieve would be unhealthy, etc. And that’s the model. So it’s. Nobody’s researching how to get beyond that model. I was the only oddball that came up with that. And so anyway, we got a. The result on it and I. I just got back from Tokyo yesterday afternoon. No. Yeah, yesterday afternoon. I just got back from Tokyo yesterday afternoon.

I flew in. I’m back in Houston right now at a hotel. And we just got through doing it again there. And every time we’ve gone to, to Tokyo, we’ve been doing it and we’ve got now, like I say, about 2,000 facilitators. And they all do that and they help people with grief processes and they do it in losses of money, losses of children going off to school, losses and death. Grandparents, children that are stillborn. It doesn’t matter what the grieves are, they’re using it and applying the model and it’s taken traction. It’s quite interesting to watch.

I love it. It’s a new paradigm. What do you call this process? And is that the breakthrough process? I think that might be different, but this. Well, the breakthrough experience is the seminar that I’ve been doing for 37 years. I’ve done it 1,247 times. But in there I introduce the Demartini method. And there’s different sections of that method, and one of them is specifically designed for grief and loss and bereavement processes. And so, you know, it’s considered a disease and condition in some cases. But I don’t think that’s really true. I just think it’s. That’s a name for things they put a label on, but they don’t know how to handle it.

But I. I just know exactly what to do and know exactly how to solve it. And it’s something that’s trainable and it’s not that difficult. It’s something that’s. I mean, I’ve. Believe it or not, I’ve trained teenagers in high schools. When people went off to Iraq in 2003 and went off to the Iraqi war, there were people that were dying and killed in The Iraqi war, and people in high school, their friends were finding out their best friend just died. And so we’ve introduced it into a high school and trained some high school students on how to help people through that process.

And the counselors in school were going, what are you doing here? Some of them were threatened by it because they go, wait a minute. That doesn’t match our paradigm. I. I got to share this story. This is a really cool story. I was doing the Breakthrough Experience in Dublin, Ireland, and we had about 170 people attending that. And I had a bunch of facilitators helping me because we were doing the method there. And there was a gentleman named Gene who was attending, who worked with the president, Martin and mary. Well, Mary McAleese and the. Her husband Martin, at the time, this is about a decade ago.

And so he came up to me and he watched. He asked if he could follow me around working with people just to observe it because he finished his process. So he did. And he goes, you know, there’s a lot of people in this country that need to get this. And I’m going to introduce this to the president. We’re going to see what we can do to finally get this into the system. I said, great. So I came back to Ireland, to Dublin again three months later, and he had me go over to the White House there.

They have a White House. It’s slightly light green, you know, for the leprechauns, but I’m joking, but it’s light. It’s the same as our White House, except it’s a little bit off white. And I met with Mary, President and in the tea room with her husband, Martin and Gene, and another person that was taking inscribing notes, and one of my. Ian Lawler and another one of my facilitators. And we had this discussion about what to do. And they set together a pilot study and they wanted to know, well, let’s. Let’s see what you can do. So I came back about three months later, and they had the pilot organized.

And I did the breakthrough experience on the weekend. And on Monday, early in the morning at like 4 in the morning, we drove up to Belfast. We got there about six, and we had some breakfast. No, we got there, yeah, about a little after six. We had breakfast. And my program, the pilot, was starting at 8. They brought in three women whose husbands and sons were killed by the bombings and killings up in Belfast and the three men that killed them. Wow. So they had three men that killed the wives, husbands and sons, and the Three women.

The three women had three nuns and a psychologist with them. The three men had prison guards. And there was media there, and there were two other facilitators of mine, plus Ian and Gene were there and some media there. And I didn’t have but a full day to do this. So I just said, let’s get to work. I didn’t do a lot of explanation. I just got out my demartini method out and I. I started them to do whatever they resented in each other. So I took the women and they, they wrote down the thing they resented in these men.

And then I took the men and what they resented in the husbands of these women that they, they killed or sons that were killed. And I took the biggest resentments and we did the demartini method and we dissolved the charge. And because there’s only three people there, I got to work intensely, and my two facilitators, we got to work individually. So it really sped it up. If I would have been with by myself, it would have probably taken the whole day. But we really got to work and we went back and forth between them and we helped them.

By 1 o’, clock, the energy in the room had completely shifted. Completely shifted. When you walked in, you could put a knife in there and it would just sit there, like dense. I mean, it was thick. You can imagine that you’re. You’re in a room with seven about 10ft away from the guys that killed your family. It’s a very intense energy when you walk in. And when we finished, there was a lightness in the room. A lot of the energy had already dissipated. We went to lunch and we came back from lunch and I decided to do the grief process.

I took the woman whose son and husband was killed. I decided I’d do. Because there were two of them. So I brought her up in the front of the room and I got my flip chart and she sat in a chair. You know how I did it there in probably Dallas. And I just methodically went through the process and identified everything she admired about her son and her husband that she was grieving the loss of. And we listed them all. We found out who was providing that now, since then, and, you know, quantitatively all the way through, what was the drawbacks of the husband and son’s behavior? What were the benefits of the new people now taking it on, and we just neutralized it.

When she’s got through, we asked her, who here represents the son and the husband as chariots? And one of the guards and one of the media Guys became the son, the media guy became the son, and the guard older guy became the husband. She opened her heart and was no longer in grief over the loss of them. It was just really touching. It was a snotting experience. I mean, there were people crying where there’s. The eyes are running, the nose is running. And then something we weren’t expecting that was profound. She got up from the chair spontaneously, without any request, walked over to the guy who killed her son and husband and put her arms around the guy and thanked him.

And he was absolutely snotting in tears. They both were in absolute tears of appreciation for the dynamic that had changed. And nobody in the room was with dry eyes. The psychologist was a bit threatened because she’s going, my business is about to be taken away from me. But Gene is up there with his hands in the air going, oh, my God, I can’t believe we’re just watching this. We captured this on film and he was like, on the drive home when we finished that night on the drive home, he was just stunned. It was quiet in the car.

We could barely even comprehend what happened because we didn’t expect that. But the politics, the three ladies or the nuns from the Catholic Church said, we didn’t use Jesus in the transformation. We can’t have that in this country. I go, oh, boy. Now, I’m not against having, you know, Christianity and Jesus and I. I’d be glad to. You can put that in there if you want. I don’t care. Just do the process and then give credit to Jesus if you want. No problem. I mean, it’s all that energy anyway. It’s all loving energy anyway. But there was.

There was that. And the psychologist also was threatened because their model was the victim model. And Martin Mackley and Mary Mackley said, our victim model is keeping this. This generation after generation after generation of resentment. And we’ve got to break this pattern. And the tool breaks the pattern. But they were bogged down in politics. Amazing. So it was slower getting incorporated as hoped, but it’s, it’s. There are people using it now, so I just keep doing it. I just keep sharing the message. I had six publishers when I wrote a book on this. I got six publishers refused to publish.

They said, you. You can’t convince us that there’s a. A true mechanism to be able to dissolve grief. And I said, come watch me live. Put me under the test, put me under scrutiny. I don’t care. I will guarantee you money back. Guarantee I’ll get the job done. And they said, we’ve never heard of such a thing. I said, well, I’m the expert, you’re not your publishers. I have a question about that. Anyway, I have a statement here about publishers. Like I thought your job was to print books. Yeah, well they didn’t want the liability. I said then put a prayer clause in there that if you want help, call a specialist, they’ll do it for you.

You know, there’s ways of getting around that. But anyway, it’s quite interesting. So it’s self. I’ll self publish the book but it’s quite interesting to watch how the paradigm is so indoctrinated for so many thousands of years. The idea of being able to transcend that. The same thing for depression. That’s a multi billion dollar industry, man. That’s a pharmaceutical, you know, heyday because they got you thinking it’s a biochemical imbalance or whatever. And there’s no doubt there’s neurocorrelations and biochemical imbalances and neurotrophic, I mean neurotransmitters that are quote different. But that doesn’t mean that that’s the cause.

It just means that’s going and correlating with it. We confuse correlations with causes somet and all I know is that I can take those individuals that are supposedly having biochemical imbalance and rebalance the chemistry right in front of your eyes. I did it at Prince Edward Island University. I had three university psychology departments in an amphitheater filled completely brim and did a demonstration on there and they still had difficulty comprehending it. One of the professors said, yeah, but will it last? I said, well you follow it for the next two years and see. And they still had difficulty because it doesn’t match the paradigm that most people are stuck in.

It’s very true. I just keep plugging away and just keep getting more thousands of people involved in it and eventually it reaches a critical threshold. You know how it is. I love it. Now before I ask about references for people to follow and learn more from you and sign up to have some of these sessions or facilitators do this for you and for them that are seeking, I want to kind of remind people here that in this discussion some of these are new ideals obviously that are challenging to politicians, to psychologists, to psychiatrists. It just doesn’t fit their indoctrinations and paradigms of thoughts.

That’s okay, it still works. So you know what I just want. Yeah, Charlie. You brought up Charlie. I did. There was, there was a lot of people that really admired Charlie and all the people that admired and looked up to Charlie are going to have remorse and grief. There’s also some people that resented Charlie. Some of the radical Islamic fundamentalist and liberalist. They didn’t like him. They’re not grieving. The people that liked him are. There’s actually people right now that are going, thank God he’s dead. They’re the ones that didn’t like him. The other one, they said, he’s got bad karma there, he got his karma or whatever, that kind of stuff, you know.

So when you’re. The people that didn’t like him and didn’t like his ideas aren’t grieving, the people that did and put them on a pedestal are massively grieving and showing, you know, support. And that’s the polarity of life. The more you make a difference in the world, the more heroes and villains you have, the more you’ll have grief and relief simultaneously. When Soleimani, the German, I mean, not the German, the Iraq Iranian general, was killed by Trump, we in America, that. Not I don’t say me, but I mean, the Americans saw him as a. As a villain, as a terrorist, and they celebrated his death.

And God, what a relief. We got the terrorists gone. 5 million people out of Iran came out and grieved his loss. They had him as a hero. So anytime you make a hero out of somebody, you’re going to grieve their loss. Anybody you make a villain out of it, you’re going to be relieved of their loss. It’s your ratio of perceptions to determine the outcome. It’s not the death of the individual. The death of the individual is a neutral event. How you perceive them is going to make all the difference in the world. And you can change how you perceive them.

And if you do, you know, you have the power to change your perception, decisions and actions in life. All I do is train people on how to do so, so they can not have things on the outside run their life. They can run their own lives. Exactly right. And I want to remind you all, too, that when you started out this conversation about grief, that there’s not a single person you’ve ever met or asked of the tens of thousands, maybe millions you’ve talked to physically. No one’s ever said, I want, when I die, for everyone I’ve ever had a positive influence in or spent time with to be paralyzed from grief and never experience joy in their life ever again.

But so many people do that. That is not what the people, you know, this world want for you. You Know what they want? They want if, if I was to die right now, right, I’m sure there’s somebody probably want me dead and there’s other people that wouldn’t want me dead. If I, if I was to die, I would want the people I care about, love to live their life to the fullest. That’s it. Anything other than that seems a bit odd, don’t you think? You want them to live their life to the fullest, have fulfillment? I don’t know.

I don’t have this idea, oh, I hope that they’re grieving for the next six months or years. To me that’s kind of disrespectful. I’d want them to live their life to the fullest and know that life is a term. We only have so many years in our life. There’s some people out there with fantasies that we’re going to live indefinitely. But right now, globally, universally and globally across the world, 72 years is it. That’s the average. You got some dying in their 40s, you got others dying in their 80s and 90s and hundreds. But 72 is an average across the world.

And that hasn’t drastically changed really as much as we’d like to think it has. It hasn’t drastically changed. And what’s interesting is, okay, maybe we’ll get it to 80 or 90 or something like that somewhere, but it’s not going to go forever. You’re going to die. And maybe so. I love what Elon Musk said, that if we didn’t die, the fossilized people wouldn’t be able to keep up with all the changes. I’m having a difficult time keeping up with all the changes with AI and electronics and it. And I mean, I’m not you, but I’m 71.

I’m having a hard time keeping up with it all. And so in the process of doing it, my fossilization is going to slow down the growth process if I don’t let the young people come in. So I think that’s not a bad thing to have a, to move on unless you can keep learning and keep addressing and keep occurrence. So there. Elon Musk said it really bluntly and people gave him hell about it. But the reality is that we may not be wise to ever live forever. Just like a building, if a building lives forever, there’s no rejuvenation of a city.

You got to redo things and rebuild things and restructure things. The world does it. The forest. If you study the history of a forest, you’ll find out it was grass and desert and grass and then there’s tundra and grass. It goes to a stage and then trees and then it goes back to desert. It cycles. I think that we got to honor both life and death. Our entire existence is life and death. We have mitosis, apoptosis, reduction, oxidation, build and destroy, neuroplasticity, osteoplasticity, myoplasticity. Our societies rise and fall. Instead of living in a fantasy that we’re supposed to be one sided I think it’s wise to embrace both sides of life and life and death are two sides of life.

And really when you think about it, this is going to sound probably bizarre but when you get married, I jokingly ask people when you’re married how many of you think that your spouse is both killing you and saving your life? They all put their hands up. They all do life and death. It’s a life and death situation called marriage. That’s right. All right, so John, I actually asked you thank you for all that. And then we’re going to do some references for yours. But I have a question outside of your own writings, I actually submitted this question.

I was like make sure John has this question ready. I love learning. I love reading. I’ve learned from you and I love learning from you and reading what you’ve written. What is a book that you would recommend to people that changed your life? Well, I tell people, when the people ask me what books do you, you know, recommend? I tell people to go and get Mortimer Adler’s Syntopic in volumes one and two. Mortimer Adler’s Syntopicon S Y N T O P I C O n Centopicon, volumes one and two. It’s a PhD on life. I never read it.

I will get it. It’s a summary of the greatest minds over the last 2700 years discussing the most important topics for existence. That’s an awesome reference. Thank you very much. I look forward to now buying that. I’ve never even heard of it. I can’t wait to go read it because I love learning and studying. All right now, Dr. John Demartini, what is a book you’ve written that would help people start to grasp the grieving concepts as you have actually laid out for us today that you’ve learned and applied to so many lives? Is there a book you’ve written about the grief demartini method? Maybe it’s even called that that you can recommend people? Where do they find it? There’s a number of books.

One of the books is called The Heart of Love, and it has a section on there. The grieving of loss of loved ones. And it’s simplified a bit for the general populace, but it introduces a bit of that. But it’s called the Heart of Love by Dr. Dhartane. Very good. There’s also the essentials of emotional intelligence and the resilient mind. The resilient mind addresses it also. There’s two. And there’s also the values factor. So those are four books that all kind of covers some of those topics. I love that. But. But the book that’s on grief I haven’t published yet.

All right, now I have a question. Where. Where if someone wants to participate in events or know where you are in the world doing different activities, speaking events, Breakthrough is the prophecy, I think is another one of your events. I’m not sure if you still do that, but I remember learning about that when I was here in Dallas with you. Where can they learn about more about where you will be and where are your facilitators in doing presentations around the world? Well, I could be anywhere. Like I said, I’ve spoken 161 countries, but I. I am online.

Next year I’m gonna be more online than I am actually going to be traveling a bit because I’ll be on my ship. You know, I live on a ship. And so I will be doing things in all different time zones around the world. The breakthrough experience. But if they just go online to my website, drdmartini.com they can start browsing and they can start educating. There’s enough on there to keep busy for at least a life. Amen, doctor. D r m a r t I n I.com dmartini. D r d E M A R T I N I Make sure we spell it out for those that are just listening.

D R D E M A R T I N I dot com. Yeah, that’s it. Very good. Yeah. Because I look up Martini and then they won’t find it. They go, I don’t see this guy. Nope. Dr. Demartini, interesting. The person that runs all my companies, her last name is Martini. Short of De, but her last name is Martini. It’s quite funny. All right, John, Anything else you would like to share with the audiences that you’re excited about your view of life? Now you’re going to be 71 years old. Coming up, what are you looking forward to? What do you want everyone to look forward to besides just the expansion of awareness, acquiring knowledge and freedom? What I’m interested may not be anything to do with what everybody else is interested.

True there. You know, I want people to live their life as congruently as possible with what they value most so they can live more of an inspired life, delegate lower priority things and get on with the things that are most meaningful to their life. I continue to do the same thing. I’m going to research, write, travel and speak because that’s what I love doing. I delegate everything else. I haven’t driven a car in 35 years. I haven’t cooked since I was 24. I don’t do anything other than teach, research, ride and travel. That’s my love and that’s what I do.

All right, so one last thing before we go because it hit me earlier. I want to make sure people watching this because I know you, I’ve sat with you, I’ve learned from you. I’ve watched this work in someone’s life. Personally, it was miraculous. But in the story you told, which brought tears to my own eyes and I wasn’t even there in Belfast with these women who lost their husbands or sons or both and the in front of the individuals who had committed those horrific actions for the one woman to stand up, walk over and hug that individual and thank them.

I want you to end this conversation with explaining as best you can why? Because I don’t know if anybody’s ever is grasping this without actually watching this happen in front of them. If they’ve gone through the demartini method for grief like you’ve done, I don’t think they’re going to get how a person would go from paralyzing grief and loss of these people dear to them and when they created their son, how could they possibly realize there’s a moment of gratitude and go hug the person who did this? What is it that comes out of the release of the grief from the demartini method that would ever get someone like we’ve already hinted at twice here in this conversation, three times actually, where an individual speaks out loud.

Thank you for passing. Thank you for killing my husband or my kid. How can you possibly get to that moment? What is it about the Demartini method? The release of the grief, the realization that there were just as many drawbacks as benefits. What is it? I know what it is and I hope you can articulate this because of what I’m thinking. There is a transition where the benefits that came from those individuals are transferred into other people in your life physically and your life expands. But can you speak to that? Because the moment these individuals realize it, there is a Moment of gratitude.

I’ve watched it, like where they go from cursing God for taking someone that they only saw benefit from to, oh my God, thank God my life has expanded now with new opportunities, whatever it is. Can you please explain where the gratitude comes from in these moments? Well, in this particular case, as we were doing the grief process, we uncovered things that was not on the table, that the psychologist had not really grasped, the nuns had not grasped, the public had not grasped because one of them was a very public figure. The lady that lost her husband and son was all over the news and kind of a poster child for the, for the grief process or for the, the, the, the killing.

You know, she was with a, with a marriage, with a husband who was highly aggressive, drinking a lot, very, very violent, very angry, very demanding, and was sort of a disempowered, trapped woman who also had a son that was getting in trouble even with the law, was following the footsteps as the husband, was not very respectful and was. She was always kind of having sleepless nights worrying about what’s going to happen with the police. So the fantasy that she had fabricated when the grief occurred, when we got down to what would the other side of the equation revealed, Complete opposite, equal and opposite.

Just like Newton’s third law, you know, for every action there’s an equal and opposite reaction. Well, that was going on. So when we got all that on the table and brought some of the things that she admired about them and found the downsides and then found things that she disliked about them and brought them up to the surface to kind of balance the equation. So she was not living in a fantasy about who these people were, was grounded in both the realities of both sides and took him off the pedestal to put him in the heart, because he was in the heart.

But the fantasy of who he was that she fabricated, that she was getting secondary gains from, because when she ended up having notoriety and getting on news and stuff like that, she was getting secondary gains out of the misery. She ended up meeting a new man who had a better income, with a nicer lifestyle, nicer home, already had two kids that were more manageable. She’s now known in her circles because she’s in the media. Her life upgraded. Now she can’t demonstrate that publicly and make a big deal out of it without losing her position as the poster child.

So this whole thing came to the surface and all of a sudden she realized in her perspective she was actually in her mind praying for some sort of a way out of this dynamic with her husband. And Son. And she saw the man actually gave her the freedom to get out of a situation she was trapped in. Now, we. Now, this is just one case. Every case is different. Every case is different. But this case was pretty interesting. And so when she went over there, she realized that she’s alive today and sane and functioning in an upgraded life and home and lifestyle and notoriety and somebody of substance and people listen to her.

There’s an elevation in her position in life as a result of that man’s actions. That’s why she went over there and hugged him and thanked him because it all came to surface. And she thanked the husband and son for doing exactly what they did and saw the perfection for her to go to the next level in her career that she. In life, that she wanted. So sometimes we don’t ever say that we can’t. Oh, what would people think? Oh, we didn’t love them. No, that’s part of the love process. When we love somebody, we have to face both sides of who they are.

People confuse infatuation with love, and they think, well, when it supports me, then there’s love, and if it challenges me, it’s not love. Love is a balance of opposites. It’s a unity of opposites. It’s the strongest growth factor on the planet. And when we actually get to embrace both sides of somebody and love both sides simultaneously and don’t put people on pedestals or pits, but put them in a heart and have reflective awareness instead of deflective ideas that they’re better than us or worse than us and judge them and stuff, we liberate ourselves from a whole lot of emotional drama.

And that’s all I’m trying to do, is trying to help people see the whole. I don’t want anybody to make up any answer. You never heard me ask, now make up an answer. I said, look, until you discover what was there that you overlooked, and when they discover that and they balance the equation, there’s a state of grace, a state of awe for the perfection of what’s happened. And that’s what I want people to know. I want them to be able to love their life as it is, not keep comparing it to what it should be or supposed to be or got to be or have to be or must be according to what the moral hypocrisies that they’ve been indoctrinated by about how life is supposed to be.

That’s the subordination to outer authority that we were talking about. Dr. John Demartini has been a great conversation and I hope it’s going to touch the hearts of many people that watch this all around the world and look forward to them going to your website, getting your books, reading the book that you recommended. I’ll have to go look up and go by. I’m looking forward to that. But I appreciate everything you’ve done for me in my own personal life, helping me free me from the bondage of disbeliefs, disinformation, indoctrinations that I’ve taken from everywhere you can imagine, everywhere’s trying to program me to see life a certain way.

And the truth is, as long as we live according to our own destinies, our own values, life is as fulfilling, as rewarding as it ever can be. You just need to recognize you have your own values. They don’t have to be superimposed on you or given to you. They are already in you. And one of the things I learned from you in the process of trying to identify if I want to have the greatest, most successful life, what are my own values. And you said something in the very first day, you said to make this easier for everybody, and I’ll just leave this conversation with this in order to start identifying what your true core values are.

As long as you live according to spending the majority of your time focusing on the three top core values that are distinctly yours and only yours. And everybody’s is different. Nobody has the same top three. Everybody’s is different. They’re uniquely yours. Think about first, what you, what you’re drawn to mentally, what you think about doing every single day that you want to do, that no one on earth ever has to ask you or remind you to do or motivate you or need to motivate you to go do. It’s instinctive inside of you. You’re drawn to do this stuff.

And the more you’re not doing that stuff, you will be depressed, frustrated, angry because you’re not living according to your own values, you’re continuing to find yourself beholding to someone else’s values. It doesn’t matter what it is for me. I’ll just tell you what it was. Can I tell you what it was? No one even knows this. I actually was raised in the Mormon Church, and in the moment I sat in front of you and you said, anytime you’ve ever been frustrated, even for a second, for a minute, for an hour, for a week, for a year, if you’ve been angry, upset, frustrated, depressed, you are subordinating yourselves in that moment, week, hour, day, whatever, you’re subordinating yourself to someone else’s values that are not your own, period.

And I was like, wait, whoa, hold up, man. I’ve got to sink. Let that one sink in. Let me digest that statement. And then I sat there while you continue to talk here in Dallas, and I was like, wait a minute now. This is outside the breakthrough experience, everybody. This is just me listening to them do a lecture. And I remember sitting there and I was like, when have I been the most angry and for how long? Like longest periods? John, you don’t even know this. I never told you. I never walked up to you and said, oh my God, what an aha moment.

But people that are very close to me know this. I was, I went on a church mission for two years, just like every good little Mormon is raised to do, particularly males between 19 and 21 when I was younger, now it’s 18 to 20. But at 19 years old, you’re expected when you graduate high school to go on a two year mission for your church. On that mission, I was required to carry this little white handbook that I kept in my pocket of my suit. And I had to every morning read the rules of the mission for every single day I’m out there.

For two whole years. I had to read them out loud to my companion, he had to read them back to me and we had to just, you know, say our prayers, read our scriptures and go. The entire two years of that period of my life, 19 to 21 was the most angry, frustrating time of my whole life. I literally lost every bit of my joy, every bit of my laughter. When I got home, my parents, six months later, when I’m home, I am dead serious. I was actually the class clown in every high school year, middle school year, even in college after this.

It took years to get out of this. This anger, upset, frustration. While I’m sitting there listening to you in your lecture, I was like, what was the period of time I was the most angry? Oh my God, I was angry. Every day on this church mission for two years, I come home. I am such a different person, John, when I came home than when I left as a young kid at 19. When I come back at 21, my parents looked at me at one point and said, I don’t know if we want your younger brother to go on his mission.

That’s coming up in a couple months, if he’s going to come back like you came back. You’re nothing but angry, you’re nothing but upset, you’re nothing but depressed. All of your laughter, joy for life is gone. And if that’s going to happen to your younger brother, we don’t. We wonder if we want him to go. And I was sitting there listening to your lecture now 10, 12 years later, and I was like, did I, in that two years, subordinate myself to someone else’s values that were not my own? Holy crap. The whole mission was the church’s values were being pushed on me.

The rules, the guidelines, how you’re going to operate every single day. It was nothing that I wanted to do every day. And it just created anger, frustration, and mega depression for those two years. And I then was able to walk and realize that, oh, my God, this really is true for my life. I had subordinated myself to what my parents told me was important since I was a kid and that I adopted as a reality for me. I need to go on a Mormon mission when I’m 19 years old and serve the church, my grandparents, leaderships, youth leaders, everybody around me in my circle of influence.

This is what you need to do. Oh, my God. I was not born to do that. I thought I was because I listened to all the people who told me how to live my life, and I trusted them. But, man, when I actually was going against my own core values, it led to the most frustrating upset time. I really lost myself. And that’s what I realized sitting in front of you. And I was like, oh, wow, this is very true for me. And I found out my core values as you listed as I did, the breakthrough experience were these three.

Time alone with my offspring was number one. Number two was studying or educating myself. Number three was teaching others what I have learned. So as long as I’m learning something, in any moment of any given day, from a podcast, from an audiobook, from a human, from a book, whatever, as long as I’m learning, I’m happy, man. I’m living my best life. If I’m teaching, it’s even better. And if I have time alone with my kids, my family, it is just. There’s nothing more rewarding to me, period. And I’m never happier. So I just want everybody to realize I learned that this was true for me.

What Dr. John Demartini has been led to learn and experience and then apply in other people’s lives. The things he teaches, I have found absolutely are true for my own personal life. And so I thank you, John, for helping me realize those things for me, because as I live according to those things, life is not depressing, not frustrating. And now people will realize, why does I smile the whole time? I either testify in front of a senate or legislative body during COVID 19. Being asked to testify in the King’s court, in Parliament, being deposed by lawyers to go sue hospitals.

Why? I was studying medical records. I was studying research studies then presenting that information. There was nothing that was work for me. This is what I was born to do, what I was ingrained to do. And so to decipher what is being taught by medicine, by pharmaceuticals, by medical journals. I love going into there and then teaching you what I’ve learned. Presenting to you what is true and then having you apply it in your life is even greater. But as long as I’m doing those things that are value to me, man, life is incredible and I couldn’t be inspired.

We’re designed to be inspired by living authentically. Yes, we are. All right. Dr. John Doug Martini. Thank you for your time today. God bless you and all your travels and your work. And thank you again. Thank you for the opportunity with you. Thank you for being intuitive. Do you know that in 1976 when you had this moment of grief realization. Do you know I was born in 1976? How about that? Your epiphany. My birth into this world. Bring it up. It’s interesting. I, I, I. When I think I’m 71, I feel like I’m an 18 year old on the inside.

It’s that outer shell. The old prune on the outside doesn’t look like the what feels like on the inside. All right, I’m Dr. Ardis. This is the Dr. Ardis Show. This is Dr. John DeMartini. Thank you very much. God bless you all. We’ll see you next week. Ra.
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