I Cant Believe This S#!T!!! Im Done | Canadian Prepper

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Summary

➡ The Canadian Prepper text is a collection of comments and responses from a YouTube channel focused on prepping for the apocalypse. The host, Nate, humorously responds to a variety of comments, ranging from criticisms about his predictions and ego, to personal attacks and compliments. He also offers advice to a viewer feeling burnt out from prepping, and playfully corrects mispronunciations of words.

➡ The speaker discusses the inevitability of a major crisis, possibly war, and encourages preparation. He mentions a conversation with billionaires about finding a safe place, choosing Saskatchewan due to its low cost and isolation. The speaker also debates the importance of faith, suggesting that Christians find peace in their beliefs. Lastly, he promotes his survival gear business, CanadianPreparedness.com, and emphasizes the importance of preparedness for survival.

 

Transcript

Most of those your mama comments. They were mine. I apologize. I apologize for being late to your mama’s house last night, boy! Well, now that we’re bonding, I have a confession to make. The paternity test did come back. You are my son. And I was raiding your mama’s bunker last night. I’ve followed this channel for years and the world is always supposed to end from Monday to Friday, but we’re still here. Wait a minute. Are you trying to say that you’re not watching the videos on Saturdays and Sundays? Bro. Nuclear Nate. I’ve shit my pants again.

Bro, come on. We’re preppers. The shit’s supposed to hit the fan, not your pants. Nobody actually cares that people leave hate comments. Stop bringing attention to it. And pass up this opportunity to make filler content and get ad revenue to pay these communists? Are you crazy? Eat your gold. Yes, Clarice. I’ll eat my gold, alright. But only after I’m done my 20-year food supply of 25-year shelf-stable mountain house with a side of Chianti and fava beans. I’m just here to see Nate rub his face and say World War III is here, guys. This is it.

This is what you came here for. You like this? Here. Listen. There you go. You can join in with me. Brain damage. Confirmed. Confirmed. Confirmed. Confirmed. Uh, okay. That’s interesting. Interesting feedback. I appreciate it. I would say that the delivery was pretty good with the exception that you might want to consult with a speech pathologist before the apocalypse hits, just so you can make your taunts more intimidating. He looks like a much softer, more effeminate version of Vin Diesel. I’m gonna call him Vin Weasel. That’s pretty good. I must commend you on that. I’ve always had my likeness compared to Vin Diesel for some reason, but I think I’m blacker than he is.

With respect to the second part of your question, I believe it was in reference to the last video when I responded to somebody who said that they were gonna come to my house and steal all my stuff when it hit the fan. Perhaps you’re from California or Vancouver or Portland, where from what I hear, they’re perfectly fine with people coming into their homes and taking all their stuff. So I have a proposition for you. How about I’m gonna come into your home and take all of your stuff when it hits the fan? Because I know damn well that you’re not gonna do a thing about it.

He’s standing on a stool. A tiny little man afraid of life. Your ego is getting the best of you. This one, this one, all for you. Yeah. Oh, jeez. Ego. What are you talking about, Ego? I’m one of the most humble, self-effacing individuals alive. Next. No nukes yet, Nate. Where’s Putin today? Hey, I’m sure Putin’s sitting somewhere because he’s a pretty old guy and they tend to sit. And maybe, just maybe, those nukes are part of the reason why we’re building an 861 billion dollar golden dome missile defense shield. But I could be mistaken. You will be one of the first to go down.

Prepare for Judgment Day. Okay, if I understand you correctly, you’re saying that I would be the first to go after Judgment Day? I mean, the first out of 8 billion people? Are you serious? So long as that was recorded in the history books and I could go down as the Archduke Ferdinand of the apocalypse, you know what? I think that’d be worth it. Ego, Nate. You’ve been wrong more than you’ve been right in the last five years. Buy my stuff! Buy my stuff! Buy my stuff! You know, that comment, that comment really hurts.

If only I had some compressed toilet paper tablets that I could use as tissue paper to wipe these tears away. Looks like I’m gonna have to go to www.canadienpreparedness.com. I’m actually getting really sick of prepping. You’ve given me a lot of good tips, but I’m just burning out lately. I appreciate you coming to the channel for years on end. I would encourage you to try to take it to the next level. Perhaps you’ve hit a bit of a plateau with things and you’re spinning your wheels a bit. Perhaps you’re just too invested in the doom and gloom aspect of preparedness and not enough in the bloom aspect of preparedness.

Because the lifestyle that accompanies it on the flip side is supposed to be one that brings you satisfaction and joy. And if it’s not doing that, then maybe it’s time you give it a rest. I’ve always loved the word, fragility. Your vocabulary is beyond reproach. It’s reprehensible. Have I been saying fragility? And you guys didn’t tell me that I’m saying fragility this whole time. You’re fired. Get the hell out of here. Sorry about that. Not sure it came over me there, but I do apologize for not being sensitive to your fragility. Nate having a pity party.

Well, yes, I am having a pity party. And you know what? You’re not invited. Nate, you exhibit all the so-called bravado, but have such a fragile little ego. What do you mean I have a fragile ego? Don’t you know who I am? Everybody knows me around here. 1.3 million subs bitch. I can do and say anything I want. Well, according to you, we’ve had nuclear war 42 times and yet we’re all still here. 42 times? It has to be more than that by now. But wait a minute, what compelled you to write 42? Didn’t you know that according to the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, that is the meaning of life? The meaning of life is 42, bitch.

New challenge unlocked. Let’s make mean comments so Nate does another one of these videos and reads our comments. Booyakasha! Congratulations. You’ve now been immortalized in the Canadian Prepper Roast Hall of Fame. But quite frankly, I think you could have did better than that. You gotta love a guy who thinks that he’s never wrong. I mean, why would anybody say that about themselves? I can only think of one reason. You know what? You’re right. You’re right. Are we done? Man, that guy was a fucking idiot, wasn’t he? Running out of ideas, hey Nate? You forgot that one.

The only thing I’m running out is fuck to give. It’s world apocalypse on this channel every night. Bloody ridiculous. While it’s not only at night, sometimes I upload in the mornings. Nate, you’re such a joke. Stop trying with the big words. Ah, my persipacacious interlocutor. Your assertion that my loquaciousness is merely a veneer for my intellectual grandiosity is truly a paragon of perspicuity. In other words, uh uh. This guy’s a damn, he’s a damn, he’s a democrat. I must unsubscribe immediately. Gotcha, bitch. Nate, you are so liberal. But I love you anyway. How dare you assume my political identity.

But you know the real irony here, your postmodern definition of liberal. Because your definition of liberal is so fluid that it’s overlooked the fact that I’ve endorsed the conservative party in Canada over 30 times in the past month. Nate Tradamus. Hey, it’s not Nate Tradamus, it’s Nostra dumbass. And don’t you forget it. Oh look, it’s a Canadian tea bagger. You’ve really fallen off the chart slot. And yet you keep coming back, you dirty dirty girl. All praise is due to Allah, in the honourable minister, new asperica, smile, heart, unintelligible, earth, star, moon.

Thank you very much, my English speaking Chinese food eating Muslim Russian Teletubby. I appreciate the comment. Nate literally posts the same video every day. You’re not going to believe this. This guy posts a video every day. He’s in it every day. He uses the same microphone. He uses a camera. He’s alive. He’s clearly on earth every day. How original is that? Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, you bad little boy. I’m not sure how to take that. Sounds kind of kinky, to be honest. What’s the name of the person? Lori. Okay, we’re gonna scrap the kinky part. Fun fact, Nate actually had a whole head of hair when this channel started.

Then he rubbed it off, one video at a time. I used to actually have a widow’s peak. It came down to here. And I lost a hair every time I stockpiled a can of freeze-dried food, basically. And so it’s been receding ever since. But if I keep it cut low enough, nobody’s gonna notice. We Christians will disappear to heaven soon with Jesus Christ. Be ready. Well, shit, I better sign up. Man, I forgot about this channel. Still waiting for the end of the world I see. As I’ve always said, collapse is a process, not an event.

Not with a bang, but with a whimper. And you will be crying like a little girl when it happens. Wait a minute, that’s an insult to little girls everywhere. You’re just a little bitch. No, Nate. I don’t come back because I’m in denial. I come back to see you crash out and read the comments while I enjoy my morning coffee. The best comedy to start my day. Con world, con world, con world. Schadenfreude is a German word that means taking pleasure in someone else’s misfortune. And of course, anyone flaunting their schadenfreude probably compensates for some rather diminutive attributes.

Oh, I gotcha, I gotcha. Hey bud, sounds like you got a lot going on, so thanks for watching the channel and I’m glad I made your day. Jesus is coming, Nate. Believe in him. War is coming, then the great tribulation shall follow. You and other billionaires like yourself will not be able to escape to your wonders. Get saved and ye shall escape what’s coming. What’s funny you mentioned that because Zuckerberg, when he was at my place last time, and I think Warren Buffett and Ray Dalio, I think that, yeah, they were there too. And we were talking about how, you know, we wanted to get a good seat at this spectacle that is going to be the warriors of heaven facing off against the legions of Satan and that we wanted to get well positioned in a place where our money and our wealth would take us the furthest.

So we chose no other than the ass crack of the planet. Saskatchewan, where it’s cold as all hell, the bugs are complete shit, the property values are dirt cheap, and there’s absolutely no reason whatsoever for a person of a billionaire stature to live here. If someone hears me listen to this rant, they’re going to think I’m a crazy person. I had to lower the volume. I think there was a saying about this in a movie once. What was that saying? See, I’m not a monster. I’m just ahead of the curve. My worldview has been vindicated and your channel coupled with other biblical prophecy that I’ve discovered is proof of where we’re heading.

There’s never been anything that we can do about it. Let’s prepare. Okay, so let’s just say you think it’s inevitable. I, for the most part, think that we got a big crash coming. I don’t think it’s going to be the end of the species, although it’s going to be a rocky road. If we accept the futility of our situation, then the only thing we can do is try to enjoy life to the best of our capability. Wouldn’t you agree? Nate, you give prepping a bad rap. I see that you’re hoping and wishing for the apocalypse.

You need to start reading the Bible. Now you told us that you don’t believe in God. Well, let me tell you something. Christians have something that your preps can’t give you. We Christians have a peace of mind that is beyond all understanding. Find Jesus Christ and live to write comments on Canadian Prepper video. That’s a really long comment. Thanks for sharing. Nate, you are no counselor. Please don’t get emotional on us. Men who’ve been hurt by emotional people will never be patient again. Lead, brother. Protect your kids. Every woman you know will let you down in a crisis.

Darn it. You figured me out. I thought I had you fooled. Doom fatigue is real. Well, I guess that’s the difference between panic preppers and people who live their life as preppers. If you’re a person who needs a constant stream of bad news to stay motivated for preparedness, then that comment is most certainly going to be pertinent to you. The best way to support this channel is to support yourself by gearing up at CanadianPreparedness.com where you’ll find high-quality survival gear at the best prices, no junk and no gimmicks. Use discount code prepping gear for 10% off.

Don’t forget the strong survive but the prepared thrive. Stay safe. [tr:trw].

See more of Canadian Prepper on their Public Channel and the MPN Canadian Prepper channel.

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