You know, sometimes there are things in the world around us, sometimes they are things within our own world, and it might be something like the price of gasoline, the price of food that is going through the roof. Maybe those things are stressing you out. Maybe you have too much to do and you feel like you have too little time to do it in. Perhaps you’ve got some family members or friends who maybe have fallen out of favor with you, and you’ve got some broken relationships that are really stressing you out. It might be societal issues like what’s going on in politics.

I am deeply distressed by the cruelty perpetrated upon animals and innocent children, and these are things that I look around. I don’t like the dirty air. I don’t like the dirty water, and this can really be overwhelming, and you can get so stressed out that you feel that there’s nothing that you can do. And I want to share with you this three-step process that I use in order to help me dial down the stress. It goes without saying that you do want to get a good night’s sleep and eat healthy and exercise and have some fun, but that doesn’t always go the whole distance in actually taking care of these problems.

So what I recommend is you grab your journal. I love having a journal. You’re going to have a pen or a pencil, and I really recommend doing this in a long-form handwriting and not on your phone. I know I make a lot of notes on my phone as well, but there’s something about actually writing. I heard someone say that when you write, your soul speaks. I love that. I might be paraphrasing, but I really like that idea that you are able to get in touch and in tune with different aspects and perspectives, and dare I say, solutions to some of these things that are stressing you out, rather than just have them play over and over and over again in your mind.

So get your notebook. No one has to read this. You can even tear it up and throw it away when you’re done, but I want you to make a list, and you need to do this. Don’t just think about it. You’re going to make a list of these things that are stressing you out, whether they’re worldly concerns like politics and inflation and divisiveness and all of that, or individual daily things that are stressing you out, such as relationships. Maybe you’re feeling overwhelmed going through social media. Maybe like me, you feel that sometimes social media is spying on you and reading your mind.

So make a list of all of these things. That’s step number one. That in and of itself is going to help you because instead of having all of these stressful thoughts floating around in your brain, you actually corral them. You’ve got them on a piece of paper. You might even keep this list if you want to, and then add to it over time. And it’s just kind of your de-stressing list, your decluttering, your emotions list. And again, no one else has to see this. Now you’re going to go through this list and here’s where the three-step process comes in.

I like to think in terms of, let’s just say who, what, and how. That’s a good way of doing it. So the first thing I’ll do is I’ll ask myself, who can help me in this one area that’s stressing me out? There might not be an answer for that. That’s why we’ve got a couple other categories, but you can think about who could I connect with that could help me through this or that has gotten through it. You may know that I ran a grief share group with my husband recently, and that was all about life after loss.

And it was amazing to me how many people in my audience had experienced pet loss as I had and the devastating unrelenting grief that accompanies having to say goodbye to your precious family members. And I had this program so that people could have the who, in other words, who could they turn to for support? So think about who in your life has walked this path, who has found solutions to some of these stressful things in your life. Again, that may not be on your list of things that are bothering you. You’re going to take them one at a time, and that one aspect might not have an answer for who.

But then you look to the what. What can I learn about this? Is there some area where I am deficient in my knowledge or information? I remember being very stressed out about this financial document that I had to fill out, and I would turn it on on my computer. I would look at it. My eyes would glaze over. I’d click off and I’d look at something on social media. I was procrastinating on filling out this document. Why? I didn’t have the what. I didn’t have the what do I need to know. There was information that I didn’t have, and every time I looked at it, I was stressed out.

So I kind of coupled it with the who and the what. Who knows more about this than I do? Can I get help from someone else to figure this out? And that was a way that I was able to dial down the stress on this one project. So go through your list. Ask yourself, who can I turn to for help on this? And maybe it’s no one. Maybe you’re concerned about the spraying in the skies, and you’re like, who can help me with this? Well, maybe there are organizations that are doing work about that.

The what. Maybe you can learn more about that. And then the next step is the how. So who, what, how? How can I take action? Is there an action that I can take about this item that is stressing me out? And here’s the thing, friends. The action that many of us take is we complain or we avoid. I just gave you the example of avoiding this very important financial document, and I was just avoiding it. And the more I procrastinated, the more I stressed out over it. So I had to take action.

Not everything on your list is actionable. There might be some things on your list that you feel, I don’t have any action to take care. So don’t complain about it unless there’s an action that you can take. The complaining, I know it feels good at the moment. It feels like we’re giving it the attention and energy with our outrage. And I think that probably can be healthy in a limited period of time. But if you continue to complain about it, nothing is going to get done. And maybe there is nothing for you to do.

Or maybe there is. I had a friend who was complaining about this chain link that was obstructing a path that she would take to go fishing. Yes, I think I have the story right. And she was very concerned about this, and she would complain about it, and it was blocking her path. And she finally realized that instead of complaining about it, she was going to find out the who, who she could write to. She was going to learn about whose responsibility it was. Was it the city? Was it the county? Was it the state? And she increased her knowledge, and then she took action.

She wrote a letter to the proper authorities, and this issue was solved for her. Now, as a person that exposes government corruption and has sued the Orange County government public serpents, as I call them, sometimes our taking action doesn’t always yield the results that we want. But at least we took action, and that can dial down the stress. The topic of this video is how I stopped stressing over certain things. And then that’s when I decided some of these items, the action I’m going to take is to pray about it, because it’s not up to me, it’s up to God to handle some of these things.

Let’s talk about corruption, government corruption, corruption in politics, corruption in the elections, if that’s something you’re interested in. That is far above and beyond what I personally have the time, energy or inclination to get involved in. I am far more interested in helping to educate people about their rights. I like to do a lot of work in animal welfare and rescue. And with our limited hours in the day, we need to select carefully where we want to spend our energy, not just our physical energy, our financial resources, but our emotional energy that can lead to stress.

So in this list, I actually am going to scratch out the items that I personally have very little opportunity to have an impact. Maybe I could choose to do that, but I’m choosing to let that go to others that are already working on it. So I can make a who and I can say, you know, there are organizations that are working on election integrity, if that can even be a thing. But there are people that are involved in that. And knowing that there are people doing that, the who, it helps me dial down my stress because I’m not going to get stressed out about that.

So I’ll go through my list and I’ll figure out the who, the what, and the how. And for the how, which is all about taking action, sometimes I’ll come up with a couple of outrageous ideas that may not be so far fetched upon further inspection. And by doing this, it empowers me and it reminds me that there is always another way. You might be able to take an action such as sharing a video, signing a petition, although I’m not quite convinced that the petitions have that much impact. However, you are educating people.

You can talk to people about it. You can go to some meetings. It’s up to you to decide the who, the what, and the how in a way that makes sense for you. This entire exercise is about empowering you to no longer feel that you are overwhelmed by all of the stressors in life. This exercise actually helps you not feel victimized, but to feel more victorious, knowing, Hey, this item here, that’s not up to me. This one, there’s not something, something I can really have a big impact here. This one is where I want to put my time, my energy, and my resources.

So keep adding to this list. So when you are stressed out, it can actually make dealing with these challenges, which could be a financial challenge, a health challenge, a relationship challenge. You might find yourself having to find a new job. There can be all sorts of things going on in your life. And some of these, you can have a greater impact in, then on some of these others. So that is my challenge to you. Make a list of these stressors in your life. I’ve done videos on this channel before about setting compassionate boundaries.

It really goes hand in hand with stop stressing, because a lot of the stressors in our life are areas where we may have had our gates wide open and we haven’t had the compassionate boundaries realizing this is actually someone else’s responsibility. This is someone else’s problem. You probably are a compassionate, empathetic person being on this channel. And it’s likely that you want to help others and you may have given of yourself so much only to find that the help that you offered was rebuffed or not followed. And then you’re stressed out about someone else’s issues and concerns and problems.

So please take a look at my video series all about compassionate boundaries. And that’s another way of helping you to stop stressing about certain items. So that’s what I’ve got for you friends. I can’t wait to read in your, in the comments, what things you have been stressing over. And then follow up with me next week and let me know how this exercise has gone for you, because I know you’re going to do it. It can take you about five or 10 minutes. You do basically just a brain dump. If I can use that expression, it’s a little crude, but you’re going to write down all of the things that have been troubling you, whether they’re societal ills or personal concerns, and then go through and determine who can help me with this? Who knows something about this? What information do I need to collect in order to tackle this? Or is there an action that I can take to alleviate this? And sometimes my friends, the best action of all is to pray and accept that there are certain things that you need to just give to God.

I’m so grateful to have you on board in our positive encouragement community. I’ve got a free sub stack, which is livingswell.substack.com. What is that? It’s a free type of newsletter blog that is emailed to you, or you can just go right to the webpage. And that’s where I often will do a summary of certain videos so that you can read about it, reflect on it, and share as well. So there’s an action that you can take to help you stop stressing. I look forward to seeing you in the next broadcast. Remember, I’m here every Monday at 11 a.m.

Pacific, and I look forward to seeing you then. [tr:trw].

See more of The Healthy American Peggy Hall on their Public Channel and the MPN The Healthy American Peggy Hall channel.