➡ Peggy Hall shares her realization that people don’t need to prove their worth or justify their existence. She discusses the pressure to impress others with achievements and possessions, but emphasizes that true friends value you for who you are, not what you have or do. She also promotes red light therapy from MyRedLight.com, which she claims can improve energy, skin, and overall health. Lastly, she encourages self-reflection on personal qualities unrelated to accomplishments, as a way to build self-esteem and reduce the need for external validation.
➡ The speaker emphasizes the importance of being authentic and valuing one’s inherent qualities over material accomplishments. They share personal experiences to illustrate that being a good listener, showing empathy, and being genuinely interested in others can make one more appealing and relatable. The speaker encourages the audience to focus on their unique gifts and talents, rather than trying to impress others with achievements or possessions. They conclude by reminding everyone that they don’t need to justify their existence, but should strive to bless others with their unique skills and talents.

Hey friends, it’s Peggy Hall back with you to add some positive encouragement to your life and I want to share with you an epiphany that happened to me some years ago and out of all of the things that I could possibly teach you, I believe that this is one that could have the greatest impact and I’ll come right out of the gate with it and then I’m going to give you some examples about that and that is this simple fact. You do not need to justify your existence. Think about that for just a moment. You know, I think some of us are people pleasers.

I think some of us are prone to indecision. We second-guess ourselves. I’m looking at some of my notes here. We second-guess what we said, what we did. We push ourselves relentlessly, feeling like we are never doing enough. And I believe what drives all that is this sense that we need to feel and act in such a way as to justify our existence to prove that we are worthy. Before we go on, I do want to thank the sponsor of this video and I’m at MyRedLight.com. I did a video interview with Jonathan Otto who told us all about the benefits of red light therapy.

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Don’t settle for fatigue, pain and premature aging. I certainly don’t want to. So reclaim your vitality with red life. Again, that is myredlight.com. And I’ll have a link for you in the description box below. Now, let’s get back to the video. Now, I understand why that could develop, especially as children, especially children who may not have gotten the attention, the emotional support, or the level or the depth that we required at that time. And I’m not talking about growing up in an abusive home, sadly, some people have. And those are rather obvious deficits in someone’s upbringing.

But even with people that had two loving parents, and perhaps there was no alcohol or abuse or divorce or affairs or anything else that can draw families apart, yet there still was a sense of not enoughness in certain ways. And I believe that that can be the driving force for some people to continually, maybe even unconsciously, need to prove their worth. I think at an extreme end of things, that can cause people to become arrogant, conceited, like they’re better than everyone else. You might put these characteristics under the heading of narcissism, which I don’t really care that much for labels, but suffice it to say that I’ve spoken many times on this channel about dealing with difficult people with those that have difficulty showing empathy, feeling, caring about others.

And you also know, if you’ve been watching any of my videos, that we have little to no control over what anyone else does, what they think, how they feel, what their choices are. We only truly have control over our own thoughts, our feelings, our emotions, our actions, our decisions, our choices, sometimes our circumstances. And often we can take that into our own hands and change them as well. But let me tell you a story about how this epiphany hit me and what I did to change it. So I remember some years ago, getting ready to head out to an event with some friends, we were going to go to their home, and I hadn’t seen them for a while.

And there were going to be other friends there as well. And I was suddenly gripped with, I can only call it a sense of panic, that what was I going to show for myself? What had I done between the last time I saw them and now? What had I accomplished? What were my achievements? Where had I traveled? Where did I grow? How had I improved? What could I possibly bring to the table that would have an impact, or dare I say, impress them? Now, I’m being very clear and honest with how I felt about this several years ago.

And I literally thought that in order to validate my standing as a friend in this group, that I needed to somehow prove my worth, prove my value. Through accomplishments, achievements, some kind of self growth or improvement, maybe something I had purchased, maybe I had a new car or had gone on a vacation. And it’s not that those friends were expecting that of me. They were not. It was my own desire or, I guess, need to prove that I was worthy. And I may be giving you an extreme case, but I wouldn’t be surprised if this kind of sounds familiar for some of you as well, that you felt maybe had a job as well.

I remember when I used to work in an office, and there was a kind of competition going on among the co workers, especially when it came to vacations, like who went on the most expensive trip? Who had the most exotic getaway? Who had the, you know, crews or what have you? I also noticed that with cars and homes and things. But that’s a little bit different because I didn’t count those people as my friends. They were just my, you know, work acquaintances. But when it comes to your friends, and this is the other thing that hit me before I went to this get together.

And I can only say that it was the Holy Spirit breathed on me, a sense of relief, and a truth that I didn’t have to prove my worth. They didn’t love me and have me as a friend, because of what I had achieved, what I had accomplished, how clever or woody I was, or what I looked like, or what kind of car I drove, or where I lived, or where I had gone on vacation. None of those things actually mattered to these friends. And it was my own desire, mixed up with people pleasing, wanting to show that I had accomplished something that I was good enough, that I was enough.

But I can only thank the good Lord above for this epiphany that dawned on me, that they were my friends, and they valued me for my own intrinsic qualities, for who I was, for who I am, not because what I accomplished, or what I owned, or what I was planning on, contributing to the world. That was of far less importance than other qualities that I possess. So I want to take you through this a little bit. I made a couple of notes here. And this is something that has really been on my mind. And I came across this phrase recently, that you don’t have to justify your existence.

And that just was a light bulb. And it was a reminder of this experience that I went through some years ago. So I hope that I can save you from many years of feeling less than, or maybe inferior to some of your friends, or family. There may be, I don’t know, in-laws or outlaws, or extended family members, that you always, maybe you feel like a little less than. And here are some of the things that I did to actually get over that. And this is what I would recommend if you’re interested in growing in this area.

So think about qualities, enduring qualities, eternal qualities, attributes that you possess, that have nothing at all to do with your accomplishments, your achievements, your contributions, to the world. So I made a list of some of the things that I believe that my friends liked about me. And that was part of the reason that we had this friendship. And so I’m loyal. I’m a very loyal friend. I’m there for people. I am a good listener. I have a great deal of empathy for others. I have a compassionate heart. I can help listen when people need a kind ear or shoulder to cry on.

I also have an ability to figure things out to kind of see aspects and perspectives that other people might not see. So when they’re struggling with problems or decision-making, I can help offer another perspective. So offering my support, offering insights, and then inspiring people and encouraging people. All of these are my God-given gifts that have nothing whatsoever to do with any amount of money I’ve earned or lost, any accomplishments or contributions or achievements or trips that I’ve taken or cars that I’ve driven or places that I’ve lived or clothes that I’ve worn or my appearance or how much weight I’ve gained or lost.

None of that has anything to do with these other qualities that I just mentioned, which are enduring. They are eternal. And I remember so clearly with such a great sense of relief heading into this get together that I didn’t need to prove anything that these people loved me and appreciated me for being me. And I didn’t need to bring a laundry list of what I had done. Since the last time I saw them, I could simply enjoy their company, enjoy the good food, hear about them and what they’re up to. And that’s another part of this formula that I want to share with you.

So many people have told me that I am inspiring and encouraging. That’s what I strive to do on this channel, is to add some positive value to your life, to share a lot of the insights that I’ve developed over my many decades here in this life. And I’m so grateful, again, to the good Lord above for this gift of life. And I strive to make the most of it. And I do have a little bit of that people pleasing streak in me. And I also have a sense of perfectionism, where I like things to be, I have high standards for myself.

And that’s okay, as long as it’s not at someone else’s expense or at my own expense. So let me share with you an experience that I had. And by the way, that get together that I had with my friends was probably one of the more memorable ones, because I could just be in the moment, we could talk about what was going on. I didn’t feel as though I had to prove my worth, or prove or justify my existence. I was enough. I am enough. And so are you. In fact, I’ve got a video on this channel called enoughness.

And it’s one of my favorites. I’ll probably replay that for you. And I believe that as children, as we’re growing, some of us feel that we aren’t enough. Maybe you came from a large family, and you might have been lost in the shuffle, and you had to really stand up so that others would take note of you. So you always felt as if you had to, you know, accomplish and get the accolades and the appreciation from others. Maybe it’s the opposite. Maybe you were the only child. And there was a lot of pressure on you to live up to your parents’ expectations.

Maybe people said that you were more mature than your years. And you felt that you had to be like that. And you couldn’t just be a kid and be silly and all of that. Maybe you came from a family of two children, and you had an older sibling who was getting the spotlight and you felt a little less than. And so you had to scurry to keep up. There’s all sorts of scenarios. And the reason I’m mentioning that is because when we’re children, we haven’t had enough years in life to develop the skills and experience that we can then learn from in these later years.

So I’m hoping for those of you that might be in your 20s or 30s or even beyond, because I was probably in my 40s when I had that epiphany. And it was such a relief for me that I didn’t need to prove myself to anyone, that I could just be authentic. Who I am and that that is enough. So let me share a bit of evidence of this with you. And some years ago, after I had that epiphany, I was at a get together with my parents and they were at a holiday gathering. I didn’t know a lot of the people there.

And I was making small talk and listening and asking questions. And one of the things that I strive to do is to be interested. I think it’s much more important to be interested than to be interesting. In other words, asking questions of others, asking about what they like to do, their hobbies, their interests, their background, and just kind of pick up threads with what they’re saying and ask more questions so that you can be engaged and actually listen and learn something. So I was at this get together with my parents and I didn’t know the people.

And I was asking a lot of questions. It was very pleasant, just sort of a, you know, surface interaction with some, you know, food and so forth. And the day or two following, my mom said, oh, gosh, Peggy, there were so many people that remarked about how interesting you are. And, you know, what an interesting daughter I have. And I thought, oh my gosh, that in itself is interesting, because I never talked about myself at all. I was actually focused on the other people. I was asking them about their backgrounds and what they like to do and their family and all of the other thing, anything that you could talk about.

And it was really focused on them. And it reflected apparently back on me. And they thought that I was an interesting person because I was so engaged in the conversation. So that’s another tip that I have for you is to ask questions, be engaged with others. And the beautiful side effect of all of this is that when you are focused on others sincerely, authentically, it takes the pressure off yourself. You don’t need to talk about your trips, your accomplishments, what you’ve been up to. You can talk about what’s going on in the world. You can talk about what’s going on in their lives and just let your own natural God-given gifts and qualities and attributes rise to the surface.

So that, my friends, is my positive encouragement for you today. You do not need to justify your existence. God made you with your own unique destiny, skills, gifts, and talents. And he would love for you to bless others in your life as he is blessing you. Thanks everybody for being on board. And I look forward to seeing you in next week’s broadcast. Thanks everybody. [tr:trw].

See more of The Healthy American Peggy Hall on their Public Channel and the MPN The Healthy American Peggy Hall channel.