22% of Americans identify as Catholic. Catholics will be a key demographic in every battleground state. I’m sorry, why is Vice President Harris not here? This is in New York City. I mean, consider this. This is a room full of Catholics and Jews in New York City. This is a layup for the Democratic nominee. Chuck Schumer is sitting there right to his left. I mean, in her defense, I mean, she did find time to appear on The View, Howard Stern, Colbert, and the longtime staple of campaigning, the Call Her Daddy podcast. Donald Trump also cracked some hilarious jokes, which I’ll play for you in just a moment.

And later, Brian Stelter will weigh in on the dinner, no pun intended, who thankfully has been rehired by the clown news network. So stay tuned and subscribe to my channel for new here and check back on a regular basis. The Democrats have been telling us Trump’s reelection is a threat to democracy. In fact, they were so concerned of this threat, they staged a coup, ousted their democratically elected incumbent, and installed Kamala Harris. In other words, all her dreams have come true. Look at how stunned the Democrats are. Chuck Schumer is sitting there stone-faced. Also, that’s Letitia James, the New York Southern District prosecutor, who literally campaigned for the position promising to Trump up charges, no pun intended, against President Trump.

Let’s look at some more, because this was really some of the best comedy of the entire year. The media has begun discussing the phenomena of secret Trump voters. I don’t know if you’ve heard about this. People who publicly say they would never vote for Trump, but then when they go in the voting booth, they do. It’s a small group. They’re called the Biden family. Stephen Chuck Schumer is laughing. He knows Chuck Schumer is nodding his head. Here he is talking about some of the previous Catholic presidents, and wait for it. Catholic president, right? After JFK, President Biden couldn’t be here tonight.

The DNC made sure of that. I guess I’m the only one that reads history. And then President Trump took the stage. Look at him see, because he knows deep down inside, just how insane his party has become. But wait, there’s more. There’s a group called White Dudes for Harris. Have you seen this? White Dudes for Harris. Anybody know? Are some of you here? White Dudes, that doesn’t sound like it. But I’m not worried about them at all, because their wives and their wives lovers are all voting for me. Every one of those people are voting for me.

It’s not registering with some of the Democrats. They just don’t get it. I used to think the Democrats were crazy for saying that men have periods, but then I met Tim Walz. Tradition holds that I’m supposed to tell a few self-deprecating jokes this evening. So here it goes. Nope, I’ve got nothing. There’s nothing to say. I guess I just don’t see the point of taking shots at myself when other people have been shooting at me for a hell of a long time. Donald Trump did so well, despite it looks like the teleprompter wasn’t working because Jim Gaffigan was using a teleprompter, but Donald Trump had to refer to his notes.

So I don’t know if they only had the teleprompter for the host, or if there was some glitch, and they had to use the cards as a backup. But obviously he did so fantastic that even Mr. Potato Head had to admit the truth. Brian Stelter, what did you make of this performance? Oh no, don’t ask me first. I thought he was funny. I thought he actually got a few great jokes in. I thought the best moment was when he talked about the assassination attempts and made light of what he’s experienced, because I think he’s experiencing real trauma, real PTSD as a result of the shootings.

But he’s still able to have a light moment in this room, and he took advantage of the fact that Kamala Harris wasn’t there. Which is really the point of this whole thing. They’re usually supposed to be in the same room. And while Kamala was too chicken to attend the event, which again is customary for both party nominees, during election years, instead she sent in a pre-recorded video skit with a Saturday Night Live star, which got literally zero laughs. Vice President Harris did have a scheduling conflict, but was generous enough to send us this video.

Let’s take a look. Your Eminence and distinguished guests, the Al Smith Dinner provides a rare opportunity to set aside partisanship. Cool. I’m sorry, sorry. Hey, what’s going on? Who was that? I’m sorry, Mary Catheryn. Mary Catheryn, it’s going to send you. Very nice to meet you, Mary Catheryn. Right now I’m trying to record my speech for tonight’s dinner. Oh yeah, I know. I just want to say that. Okay, I will save you any more cringe, because this goes on for another three and a half minutes. Try to stomach just a few more seconds of it, because you got to see Jim Gaffigan’s response to her cowardice.

Thank you. May God bless you. And may God bless the United States of America. Wait for it. I don’t even know what that noise you’re making is. I don’t know. As I watched that, I couldn’t help but think of, now I know how my kids felt when I call, I FaceTimed into a piano recital they were at. She was too busy in the battleground state of Wisconsin on the campaign trail with her new friend, billionaire Rachel Maddow. I mean, Mark Cuban. Y’all here to have a little bit of fun? I like that.

Would y’all mind if I, like, pick on Donald Trump a little bit? Yes, actually, I do mind, because we’ve seen you attempt comedy before, like on the Stephen Colbert show, doing whatever the hell this is. You’re shining orange and empty inside. I’d say you’re a traffic cone, but I would swerve to avoid a traffic curve. Oh, that’s going to leave a mark, Cuban. The audience is actually laughing. Donald, do you know that to be a billionaire, you have to have the billion part in your bank account, not just the air.

Trump, you just fell into the shark tank. Okay, that’s enough. And the joy from Kathleen Kamala’s campaign seems to have disappeared. Remember how happy they were once they committed the coup, and there was a tremendous relief, weight lifted off with their shoulders now that old Joe was gone? Well, that was then, and this is now. Of course, she’s complaining about Donald Trump. Teleprompter must have broke again. When she repeats herself three or four times in a row, that’s the clue. I’m Mark Dice. Thanks for watching. Subscribe to my channel if you’re new here.

And if you’re a regular viewer, please share links to my videos on your social media feeds and encourage other people to check it out and subscribe. We’re going to have to bypass YouTube’s shadow banning manually. So thanks for your support. Stay tuned, and I will see you soon. Bye-bye. [tr:trw].

See more of Mark Dice on their Public Channel and the MPN Mark Dice channel.