Vanessa says men are logical women more emotional. Nope. You’re wrong, Vanessa. You’re absolutely wrong. Matter of fact, this leads me into my little morning monologue today because I think that men are just as if not as emotional as women. I believe that men are just as if not more emotional than women but the only difference is that men don’t have the luxury in a lot of instances or historically we haven’t had the luxury of being able to communicate it or share with y’all our emotions or lean into our emotions because we know that the decisions that we make on a daily basis can affect everybody around us and so when we make decisions emotionally we’ve trained ourselves and we’ve had to train ourselves to not let our emotions impede on the decisions that we make on a daily basis you know what I’m saying and so we all got emotions we all got emotions I mean for a long time in my life personally I’ve learned to kill that side of me in order to make better business decisions I am a very very can I be transparent with you guys and I’m gonna tell you why I’m gonna be transparent with you guys today I am a very emotional person incredibly emotional in every single thing that I do I am so emotional I care for people I was walking down the street and Rita and I actually went out to eat yesterday because she stayed down at the apartment and so we went to Wright and Company and for those of you that are familiar with downtown Detroit we got the Grand Prix today and we went to Wright and Company so I parked a little bit away and I had the Porsche and it was a guy and he had some armor all in his hand and he had some little wipes in order to do the tires and my car had just came from I had earlier just came from the car washes so I had armor all on my tires and everything like that and he was like yo man you know let me let me hook up your tires or whatever and I said oh my car my tires is already hooked up he’s like man I ain’t even gonna lie to you bro I just got out of prison I’m trying to figure it out I literally just touched down and I’m trying to figure out how to make some money and whatever like that and so on and so forth and I was like bro you ain’t got to do that and I gave him five bucks he was like thanks OG you look real good man thank you man you look good you shining out here in these streets shout out to you shout out to you and so he went back and he said he sat back for a little bit and I could see him and his clothes were a little bit dinky and it pulled on my heartstrings and I got very emotional about the fact that you know he out here in these streets and for so long I’ve trained myself to detach from the emotion because I don’t want to be responsible and I can’t help everybody and so I’ve trained myself to stay away from that but I just took everything that was in my pocket so I probably had like $600 in my pocket and I just took the whole thing I actually kept the five so I had like 675 or something like that I kept the fives because always keep $75 or $100 to $75 and fives and I just gave him the whole 600 and all big bills and I said and I didn’t show it to him I just kind of balled it up and I gave it to him and I put it in his hand and I said hi big dog man I love you bro God bless you you got this man you gonna figure it out bro I promise you you gonna figure it out and I could hear him you know I hurried up and I walked around a corner in order to go to writing company it’s on the second floor and when I went up to writing company I could see outside and I looked down and he was looking for me he was looking for me it was almost like he was trying to figure out if it was a mistake that I had gave him that much money or whatever but I was very emotional and then when I went to writing company it was a woman that I ran into and so I’m sitting at the bar and I’m having conversations bear with me for a minute guys let me tell this story so I’m sitting at the bar and I’m kicking it with a woman and I’m talking to her and her name just so happened to be Andrea right and she was reading his book and the name of the book that she was reading was called choke and it was by this guy named it was written by Chuck Palanewick it’s the same guy that wrote Fight Club right that wrote the movie or wrote the book for Fight Club that the movie was largely based off of starring Brad Pitt and she was like man this book is so fucked up and all of this stuff and she started laughing or whatever and she was like man I love reading fucked up shit is so crazy and so I read the back of the book and I said oh man I want to order it and then she wound up giving it to me right and so we get into this deep conversation and Rita is sitting next to me and she starts telling me about how she lives downtown it was a white girl how she lives downtown and then we wind up exchanging information Instagram information and stuff like that and then I wanted to DM in her in order for her to follow me because I don’t really follow anybody on Instagram like that and we get into this conversation and we become to the conclusion that we don’t link up at a later date because she’s a bartender at some other bar and so I cared for what was going on in her life in that in the midst of that conversation and so my whole life I’ve been largely emotionally attached to people because I’ve always had a vested interest and what was going on around me my passion project when I was growing up was homelessness and so I would get emotionally attached to that but in order for me to really be able to divest myself from it in order to do something good for me I had to divest myself emotionally from it because I would never stop helping homeless people because I knew that it was a problem that I couldn’t truly eradicate I’m only one person I can’t do anything and that’s why I get used and abused sometimes even from people that try to take advantage of me and they they reach out to me and they say Anton can you pay this or Anton I’m on the street then they try to pull on my emotions and so I’ve largely started to surrounded my surround myself with other people that can make better decisions around me and then in the meantime I started to train myself and this is over a period of time I’ve trained myself to basically kill all emotion because I know that that’s the way in which you go about getting rich making better decisions and then the people around me depend on me for that but I had an epiphany yesterday and it’s so weird that you asked that question but I had an epiphany last night yesterday because I was praying to God last night before I before I went to bed and it’s almost like he gave me the answer this morning and I know that y’all don’t think that God really talked to people and stuff like that but I do think that and it’s largely been a guiding light for my entire life and I asked God I said hey why can’t I feel nothing no more why have I gotten to the point to where I’m almost like non-human and my decision-making and I’m almost robotic in it and I don’t feel anything as much anymore because you know I’ve kind of killed that part of me and I don’t allow myself to be able to get emotionally attached to anything or anybody and I’m willing to walk away from anything in order to continue to complete my purpose and he said that your purpose and I was to enjoy life and then I went out this morning right and I can hear the Grand Prix and I went outside and I seen a guy that was in the street and he seemed like he was just completely crazy but he wasn’t and when I had a conversation with him he wanted to be an incredibly intelligent and so I asked him I said what is your mindset behind and I just literally live life and I go outside and I interact with people on a regular basis and my car wouldn’t start at first and so I got into this conversation with this guy right in front of my building and I said man what is what is your mindset with regard to life and he said Anton I’m so free he said you would never know how much money I got you would never know how it is that I go about seeing things he said man I just came from the movement festival and I was out there dancing with no shirt on and it seemed like it was cold until I started getting a little warmed up and then I had a great time you ain’t see Idris elbow up on that stage and I said no I didn’t get a chance to go and he said man you should have been there and so I’m starting to evaluate life a little bit differently and I’m starting to think maybe we got it a little bit wrong y’all maybe we a little bit off maybe we got it a little bit wrong in that we are so consumed and I’m not telling you that you shouldn’t be responsible I’m not telling you that you shouldn’t pay your bills I’m not telling you that you shouldn’t dollar-cost average I’m not telling you that you shouldn’t tap in a stock club I’m not telling you that you need to be a little bit more aware of the people that you’re surrounding yourself with I’m not telling you to be very very mindful of how you spend your money in order to really be able to embrace life and live the life that you really wanna live.
But what I am telling you is that maybe we got it all wrong and that we’re too far on the other side in the same way that we look at other people and we say, man, I can’t believe you so lazy or you don’t take care of business or you’re just out here smoking every day and doing whatever it is that you wanna do and they’re largely irresponsible. We’ve maybe went all the way on the other side and that we’ve become so frugal, so stoic in our ways and not getting emotionally attached or divested from anything that would throw us off of our purpose that we’ve started to dehumanize ourselves and we don’t really know how to enjoy life.
And when it’s all said and done, it’s gonna be over. And so God told me when I went up to my apartment and I said, maybe then my car will start. And I went back down and he said, man, you gotta live every day like it shall last. Live every day like it shall last. So I do choose to embrace my emotions more. Not so much to where it’s gonna make a bad decision or it’s gonna impede me from where I’m supposed to go. But let me tell you something. I made a declaration this morning, this morning, I made a declaration this morning that I am literally going to live life on a whim.
I don’t care. I genuinely don’t care. I’ma spend all of this fucking money. I’ma drive the things that I wanna drive. I’ma travel to the places that I wanna go to. I’ma dance like nobody is looking. I’ma continue to go to the different restaurants and I’ma try a weird ass food that I ain’t never tried before. I’ma have as much sex as I feel like having. I’ma completely divest myself from naps and I’ma just completely invest in living as long as I possibly can so I could live this life. And I’m, because maybe the crazy people are really the ones that got it figured out because we think they crazy because we can’t understand why they so free.
Maybe they the ones that figured it out. Maybe the reason why they feel so comfortable in they skin and we think that they crazy and they just out here dancing and I see stuff on Instagram sometimes and people be looking at people and they be recording other people doing weird stuff and stuff like that, dancing in the crowd at a festival and the person don’t be caring nothing and they be looking crazy and stuff. And I miss that. I miss that. I miss the fact that why do we care so much about what other people think about us? Why are we so emotionally invested in not being embarrassed? Embarrassment is a feeling.
Why do we care about whether or not other people judge us as though they have any power or control over us? Why are we so sheepish in our ways and our thoughts? Why are we so reserved and not meeting other people and trying to impress people instead of attracting the weirdos that we are around us? We weird, I’m weird. I told my chick today, I said, you so weird. She’s bust out laughing. I said, let go. And the minute that I told her to let go, my shoulders came down and I started feeling more comfortable.
Because I just said, yo, I don’t care. I’m gonna wear what I wanna wear. I’m gonna do what I wanna do. I’m gonna go where I wanna go. I’m gonna blow all of this money and I’m just gonna have a lot of fun. Now, that don’t mean that I’m gonna go all the way to the other side of me and completely irresponsible. I’m still gonna take care of my business. I’m still gonna invest. I’m still gonna do what it is that I wanna do. But the other 95% of my time, I’m gonna do what I wanna do when I wanna do it and I’m gonna live every single day like it’s my last.
Stop being so hard on yourself. Do what you supposed to do and leave it all on the flow. Give everything that you can give and then have a good time afterwards. Work hard and play harder. Work hard and play harder. Man, don’t you know that all of this is just stuff that distract us and it’s just a simulation in the first place? That we’d be overly concerned about stuff that we can’t even control. I’ma do my part and then I’ma leave it on the flow. I’ma do my, that’s a Detroit saying, I’ma leave it on the flow.
I’ma do my part and I’ma leave it on the flow. I’ma do the best that I possibly can and then I’ma party like it’s 1999 every single day because I love life. I love life and we don’t even realize how restricted we are. It’s some people that won’t even go outside. They don’t even know they own city. They ain’t even tourists and they own city. It’s plenty of things that we can do for free every single day that we don’t even embrace. It’d be festivals going on, things happening. I know the Detroit Grand Prix is this weekend.
If you don’t think that I’ma be outside having a good time, man, you crazy. You crazy. I have Rita come down and bring my passport yesterday. I don’t know where I’ma be at this weekend. I don’t know if I’ma be in Canada, Mexico, Rome, I might just be right here in Detroit. Bugged out, having a good time. Love life, love, live, laugh, play. Do what you’re supposed to do and be responsible, but be free, be 1,000% free and don’t be so bogged down with what it is that you can’t control and things that don’t even mean anything.
I tell my people sometimes and these young people and I say, hey, them people that you went to school with in high school, can you remember where they at now? They said, no, I said, yeah, but you cared about it. When you was in school, why? It was so meaningful to you then, but all of them people, they ain’t even checking for you now. Live life, live life, let’s have a good time. Listen. [tr:trw].
