In a bizarre turn of events, Ray Epps, has filed a lawsuit against the Department of Justice (DOJ), claiming that he was somehow manipulated into inciting the breach of the Capitol on January 6th, 2021. 

According to Epps, the mastermind behind countless baseless claims, his actions that day were not driven by his unwavering dedication to the former President or his fervent beliefs in election fraud. No, no, no! Epps would like us to believe that the DOJ pulled off some kind of mind-control wizardry to make him take part in the riotous shenanigans.

In his lawsuit complaint, Epps alleges that he was approached by a shadowy figure, who ominously whispered into his ear about the importance of chaos. Apparently, this clandestine encounter allegedly convinced Epps to go against his better judgment and rally supporters to storm the Capitol. One can’t help but marvel at the level of creativity involved in this tall tale.

And that’s not even the best part! Epps further insists that this mysterious puppet master, who we can only assume was secretly controlling the entire world from their underground lair, promised him protection and immunity from any legal consequences. Because, you know, nothing screams “protective government agency” like coaxing someone to participate in an insurrection.

Epps and his legal team are demanding that the DOJ release all records related to this alleged plot, including correspondence, secret codes, and maybe even a decoder ring. They’re hoping that proving such an outlandish theory will insert a glimmer of legitimacy into their otherwise fantastical claims.

Of course, this lawsuit has been met with widespread skepticism, as many people struggle to comprehend how a seasoned and self-proclaimed patriot like Epps could be so easily manipulated. But, hey, who needs rationality when you can blame a vast government conspiracy instead?

Undoubtedly, this lawsuit will provide endless entertainment for those of us who appreciate a good chuckle. Whether it’s Epps’ feeble attempt at rewriting history or his desperate plea for attention, one thing is for certain: the comedy gods are surely smiling down upon us. So sit back, grab some popcorn, and enjoy the show, folks. It’s not every day we get to witness such a farcical legal spectacle.

From the complaint:

“Finally, in May 2023, the Department of Justice notified Epps that it would
seek to charge him criminally for events on January 6, 2021—two-and-a-half years
later. The relentless attacks by Fox and Mr. Carlson and the resulting political
pressure likely resulted in the criminal charges.