Canadian Prepper Christmas Special: A Very Merry Doomsday

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Summary

➡ The video is a comedic take on a prepper’s life, focusing on a man who is obsessed with preparing for an apocalypse. He shares survival tips, like using old underwear, and warns about a bizarre threat from North Korean prostitutes. However, his obsession isolates him from his team and family, leading to a ghostly intervention urging him to balance his life.
➡ The President of the United States is in a post-apocalyptic world, initially sharing his survival supplies and trying to enjoy life. However, when a real threat emerges, he reverts back to his survivalist mentality, taking back his supplies and leaving others to fend for themselves. The story ends with a promotion for a survival gear website, emphasizing the importance of being prepared.

Transcript

And that’s 100 ways that you can use old women’s underwear to survive the apocalypse. Don’t forget to like, comment, subscribe if you enjoyed this video. And guys, from our friends and family to yours here at CanadianPreparedness.com, we’re wishing you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Go out there and spend some time with the kids this weekend. It only happens once a year. Thanks for watching. Son of a bitch! What the hell was that? Amateurs! You’re all amateurs. I can’t hear your freaking stomach crawling on the set. You keep looking at me weird.

I told you, don’t look at me! Don’t look at me! And you! What the hell do you even do around here? Back to your stations immediately. Come on! Move! Move! Move faster! That’s it! Oh yeah! That’s it! Let’s go! Let’s go! Gang, we got five videos to shoot. We got to get people this information before it hits the fan. Hey, Nate! You think you can give me a hand with the gear? Holy s***! The North Koreans are sending 5,000 prostitutes to the front line to give the Ukrainian syphilis. I got a tweet about this.

Alert! North Korean prostitutes start World War III. Zelensky’s not going to like that. Well, let’s go. Hey! You going to answer that? Hi, sweetie. Yo, daddy won’t bid your Christmas recital this year. You f***ed up. Don’t you know that phones aren’t going to be at luxury when the s*** hits the fan? Got that! I’m sorry. Wow. The prostitutes have syphilis and herpes? You. Nate. Nate, listen. I just got off the phone with my wife. She’s been rushed to the hospital. They said like an emergency surgery or something. Is it okay if I like take off for a couple minutes early today? Just this once, I promise.

You know, I’m sure she’ll be fine, but you do realize that when the s*** hits the fan, there’s not going to be any doctors around, right? So you might as well get used to pain and suffering. Take this as a learning opportunity. Yeah, that’s what I would do if I were you. In fact, now that I think about it, what’s more important? You having a job or your wife having to endure your pathetic, sobbing ass? Get back to work! Sick day. You might as well take a sick week. Why not take a sabbatical? It’s not like this place is going to be going up in a radioactive s*** house a flame soon.

Who needs to work 16 hours a day? Just work four hours a day. Who needs to work overtime when everything is just great? No, let’s wait till the end of days. Then we can bitch and complain because we don’t have a job. Yeah, have a good night. Maybe I’ll see you at the party. This is your Day X World War III update. We have breaking news. North Korean prostitutes have invaded the front lines and are taking on NATO mercenaries. This is big. Everybody needs to be prepared for the consequences of what’s about to happen. This is going to have geopolitical grief.

And that is why we’re pretty much all screwed. On that note, I hope you guys have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Don’t forget to like, comment, subscribe if you enjoy the video. See you on the flip side. Canadian Prepper out. Oh, man. Another day closer to the end of days. Well, time to prep for tomorrow’s update. Oh, no, I think somebody’s here. Oh, no. Oh, yes. Christmas came early this year, baby. What the hell is that smell? Freeze, dirtbag! Oh, I almost see Norman. Hey, that’s not cool, man. What the hell are you doing here? Are you some kind of ghost? No, man, I don’t believe in ghosts.

I think we’re all like from the same like one, ethereal, infinite oneness, interdimensionality, you know? But hang on a second. Looks like I am a ghost. Holy. Norman, stay focused. What the hell are you doing here? Oh, yeah, that’s right. I actually came here for the multiverse and I’m here to deliver a message that you only have one chance to change your evil ways and stuff. All right, so here’s the deal. Tonight, you’re going to be visited by three spirit-type helios. If you listen to them, you might avoid a fate like mine, which is searching for that, which is unattainable.

By the way, you got a light? No, Norman. What do you mean by spirits? Sorry, bro. That’s confidential. Come on, man. You broke in here. At least tell me. No, seriously, bro. I don’t even know. The big man just sent me here on a mission. They don’t tell me anything. Anyways, it’s been fun shooting the breeze, but I got to get going. Apparently, Hendricks and Garcia are having a little hookah sashed out at the pearly gates. I’d like to invite you, but it sounds like your night’s going to be pretty busy. So, hey, I’ll see you later.

Adios. Oh, man. Is this some kind of government conspiracy? It’s MK Ultra shit. Oh, I think I need to get some rest. Oh, my God. Ultra? Oh, you can’t have my guns, you son of a bitch. Get all the products at CanadianPreparedness.com. Ten percent off. Oh, are you that guy that Stoner was talking about? Sure am, bud. I’m the ghost of prepping past. I’ve been here since the beginning of humanity, and I’m here to show you where your journey began. My journey? Come with me, and all of your questions will be answered. I remember this place.

I haven’t been here in years. This is where it all began for that young Canadian prepper. Check that out. Yeah. Well, I guess I look good for a city slick and soy boy. You were just a young upstart then, satisfied just being out in the wild. Practicing your bushcraft skills and sharing your knowledge with anybody that would listen. No concern for view counts, angry comments, ad revenue. Yeah, I do look pretty content, but I sure wasn’t as prepared as I am now. Nate, look. Our video just hit a thousand views. Oh, yeah. High five, bro. It’s as good as it’s ever going to get right now.

As good as it’s ever going to. This is the high point of my life. I’m going to respond to each and every one of those comments. I’m going to write paragraphs, long responses as you should. This is better than the first time I blew my law. This was a time that you called the people you worked with friends instead of just employees or communists. Yeah, we sure had some good times back then, but we were naive about the state of the world. Hold on. There’s something else I want to show you. Oh, man, this is that toilet paper tablet video.

The first thing I put out that ever went viral. This was the day that things started to change for you. You got a taste of that YouTube fame, which led you down a dark path, forever chasing those views. I think that might be a little bit dramatic. Daddy. Time is short. I must bid you farewell. Yes, it’s the storm shadow. Storm shadow on the deep strikes in the Russian. Wake up, you pussy boy. What the hell? I am awake. Has anyone ever told you you look like a giant baby when you sleep? What? You know, like a toddler drooling and babbling.

Not a care in the world. It’s hilarious. You crazy bitch. Who the hell are you? Seriously, you couldn’t figure that out. Maybe calling you a toddler was a little bit too generous. What the? I’m the ghost of prepping present. I live in the moment from second to second. Frankly, I’m kind of insulted you even had to ask. What? The past is the past. All is forgiven. Come on, chicken little. The bunkers aren’t going to stop themselves. All right. All right. Let’s let me see if there’s any updates on these North Korean prostitutes before we go.

Is that your supply of freeze-ride food behind you? What? What the hell is this? Oh, you don’t get invited to many parties, do you? They’re having a work Christmas party without me? Well, yeah, they tried to invite you, but you were locked away in your office rambling about how you can’t eat Bitcoin. You know, prepping for World War III is important, but you still have to live in the moment. Life is a balancing act, and only you can be the gardener for your own soul. Listen, listen to this. Hi, folks.

Canadian Cooper here. Let’s talk about World War III again. Canadian prepper, eh? Let’s get to it. Are they mocking me? You remember that time when they said that thing about World War III, and it didn’t happen? What a fun. Yeah, it’s fun, you know, funny, and everything can be a little crazy sometimes, but it still would be great if he was here. It seems like there may still be a sliver of life in these friendships. Your friends still care about you. All you gotta do is get out of your doomsday safe space and stop acting like such a nose for a dumbass.

No, no, no, no, North Korean prostitutes. What the hell? What the hell am I? Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello. For you, it’s the President of the United States of America. Is it good news? Have they come out of the bunkers yet? Who the hell is that guy? Whoa! Are you the final spirit? The ghost of prepping future? Is this really what the future holds? This is me. Yes, Mr. President, this is I, the last survivor. Yes, I have everything that you might desire here.

Yeah, speak to sir Bartholomew on my half. Be sure you put in a good word for me. And I’ll give you a surprise later. I think, you know, okay, is that me? Well, if this is true, then I was right all along. It’s not about friends and people. It’s about getting prepared for the shit to hit the fast. Why the hell are you even showing me this? What’s that? Wait a minute, is that a city? So you’re telling me that I’m just out here in the cold with all these preps by myself? Surely I wasn’t that crazy.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Fucked up now. Phones are luxury. These videos gotta get out by Friday. Hey, you gotta get those videos out. Shit’s gonna hit the fan. Don’t you understand? This shit’s gonna hit the fan. Well, this can’t be because of me. They have to take some responsibility for themselves. I mean, look, even though the world didn’t end, I still am not doing that bad. I got my gun and I got my blankets and a lot of food. I’m doing pretty good, aren’t I? It’s time for supper. How are you gonna eat the pudding if you don’t eat the meat? Wait a minute.

Is that shitty wise? He’s not gonna eat that, is he? No, don’t! Put it down! Don’t eat that shitty wise! Okay, I give up. I think I can stop. Please don’t eat the shitty wise! Guys, guys, here he comes. What are you all doing down here? Why isn’t everybody working? Just kidding! Merry Christmas to one and to all! You know, guys, I’ve realized that I’ve been a bit of a hard ass lately, and honestly, I’m tired of living like some backwoods shut-in. I wanna live in the moment once again.

I’m no longer hoarding these preps. There you go, young lady. There you go, Mr. Bear. I’m done with this doomsday prepping stuff. We’re now all gonna live in the moment, and I ask you for your forgiveness. Do you forgive me? It’s good to have you back. Thanks, bro. Now let’s party! Morning, this is an emergency broadcast. Multiple nuclear missiles are currently inbound. Stop being naive and enjoying life with friends and family, and seek shelter immediately. I knew it! Give me this back. I’ll be taking that. Sorry, guys, it didn’t work out.

I’m sure you guys will figure something out. Thanks. See you later. The best way to support this channel is to support yourself by gearing up at CanadianPreparedness.com, where you’ll find high-quality survival gear at the best prices, no junk, and no gimmicks. Use discount code preppinggear for 10% off. Don’t forget the strong survive, but the prepared thrive. Stay safe. [tr:trw].

See more of Canadian Prepper on their Public Channel and the MPN Canadian Prepper channel.

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