So how about that solar eclipse yesterday, huh? It was one of those rare occurrences where the mainstream media actually still has a use when there’s a unique event occurring like that where they can dispatch some videographers to go capture it and broadcast it live, like an eclipse or a space shuttle taking off, or, God forbid, if a hurricane comes ashore and it was a nice break from their incessant Trump derangement syndrome.

For a few minutes, at least. And I’m sure that everybody enjoyed the coverage. Well, that is, everyone except the flat earthers, who I’m sure were more confused than the animals when the sun blacked out for a few minutes. But compared to the women over at the view, even the flat earthers may have a few iq points on them. We’ve got a solar eclipse. We’ve got the earthquake that happened in New Jersey last Friday.

The rapture is here. The rapture’s here. And then also I learned that the cicadas are coming. Cicadas. They’re called cicadas. Cicadas. Cicadas. Although I love, for the first time in cicadas. No, no tomatoes. No, no, no. Two different. Well, this is what I read. Two different times. Two different kinds of cicadas. Two different times are coming. The good cicada. But for the first time in many, many years, no, every 17 years, this happens.

Well, that’s not what I read, but maybe, you know, wait for it, make, you know better. But in a way, all those things together would maybe lead one to believe that, you know, either climate change exists, that’s more. Something is returning. Earthquakes are not at the mercy of climate change. It’s underground. It happens. The eclipse. They’ve known about the eclipse coming because eclipses happen. Climate change is now causing earthquakes and solar eclipses.

But Sonny Hoston isn’t the only one who is this mentally incapacitated. A Senate candidate in New Jersey posted this on Friday. And I saw this screenshot going around and I thought, maybe it’s a parody just making fun of some crazy lunatic liberal. And so I went directly to her Twitter feed. Being your trusted media analyst, I always have to verify the sources things before I report on them.

And this is real. I experienced my first earthquake in New Jersey. We never get earthquakes. The climate crisis is real. The weirdest experience ever. Believe it or not, there is a fault line in New Jersey. And because of the embarrassing backlash, including getting community noted, which is Twitter’s built in fact checking system, she did delete this tweet, but thankfully not before it did make some headlines. Like this one in USA Today.

Senate candidate from New Jersey mocked for linking Friday’s earthquake to climate change. But the old bags at the view aren’t just scientific geniuses. They’re also biblical scholars as well. Here’s Whoopi Goldberg talking about abortion. It’s nobody’s business. It’s you, your doctor, and God. That’s who you have to be conversational to. And it’s not mentioned in the. In the big ten. I’m just gonna say. And the big ten, it is not meant.

The commandments. Yeah, you know, because I figured God was pretty clear. Here’s the stuff that’ll make your life better on earth. Here’s the thing. Don’t lie because you don’t want people lying to you. Don’t mess with somebody’s wife. Cause you’re gonna be mad if they’re messing with you. Just, you know, be eventually. This is the ultimate example of liberal logic, because everybody with a brain, even those who aren’t christians, know that thou shalt not murder is one of the ten Commandments.

This might be a good time to just run through the ten quickly as a little refresher course for some people. Number one, don’t have any gods aside from God. Don’t worship any false idols. Don’t take the Lord’s name in vain. Remember the Sabbath. You just, like, take a day off, kind of relax and reflect. Think about God. Worship God. Honor your father and mother. Thou shalt not murder.

A lot of people think that it says, thou shalt not kill, but there’s a big difference between killing and murdering. Murdering is an unjustified killing. Thou shall not commit adultery. Thou shall not steal. Thou shalt not bear false witness. Do not lie. Thou shall not covet anything that belongs to your neighbor. Here’s another prime example of their brilliant biblical knowledge. Who decided that a traditional marriage is a man and a woman? Who God did, came up with this plan? Well, everything that exists in nature, right, people say it’s unnatural, but isn’t everything that exists in nature, by definition, is natural? But is homosexuality even mentioned in the Bible? I don’t think it is.

I believe it is. You know, yes, Joy Blowhard, it certainly is, which is why many people refer to San Francisco and Los Angeles as modern day Sodom and Gomorrah. But unfortunately, you’re not allowed to quote certain biblical scripture on any of the big tech platforms these days because it would be deemed hate speech and those posts or videos would be censored. So you’ll just have to crack open your bible and read Leviticus, chapter 20, verse 13 for yourself.

But it’s not just something that the Old Testament denounces. A lot of people will try to take advantage of christians ignorance and claim that that was only something that was talked about in the Old Testament. No, it’s actually in the New Testament as well, in numerous places, like Romans chapter one, verse 26, and one corinthians six nine. I can’t read this whole verse because again, it would be hate speech.

But it does say that certain kinds of people do not inherit the kingdom of God and that they are an abomination. But speaking of the solar eclipse, Donald Trump posted this on truth Social yesterday. And because the left can’t meme and they can’t understand memes, they were very confused about Trump’s meme. This from Time magazine. Trump posts bizarre solar eclipse campaign ad with his head blocking out the sun.

In case you’re wondering if anybody was crazy enough to try to make the solar eclipse about black people, of course the answer is yes. This from the root, which is just an online black supremacist website. These two scientists explain why black people should care about the solar eclipse. If you aren’t planning on checking out the total eclipse on April 8, you should. So this was posted on Sunday, the day before the big event, and it just goes on to say how rare it is and when the last one occurred and how expensive some of the hotel rooms are and the locations where the totality occurred.

And then down at the very bottom, it says, well, you should watch it because you’ll be part of a shared black cultural experience. And then there’s this from a blog called Capital B News B. Of course. Standing for black eclipse fever is gripping black Texans. While the event will cast a brief shadow on life in Texas, it sheds a light on scientific fields that have been mainly out of reach for black folks.

That’s odd, because for decades now, the most famous astrophysicist in the mainstream media has been this clown, Neil degrasse Tyson. The word eclipse comes from a greek word meaning abandonment. But in Texas, this week’s total eclipse has had the polar opposite effect. An estimated 4 million tourists are expected to have flooded the Lone Star state to see the once in a generation event, blah, blah, blah. But how do black people tie into this? Okay, so I just read this entire article, and it does mention Neil degrasse Tyson.

This is the only tie in for black people. It says that he will host an eclipse watch party in Dallas, as some have used the opportunity to highlight fields astrophysics and astronomy that have been mainly out of reach for black folks. Just 3% of the workforce in these fields is black. So now there’s a diversity problem in astrophysics. But I’m not sure which is more corny, this article or CNN’s actual coverage of the eclipse.

Welcome back to Eclipse across America. We are closely watching what is an amazing. This is not a meme. This is not some sort of like an AI overlay. These are actual costumes that these morons were wearing live on the air during the event interstellar phenomenon. We’re not talking about what’s happening here on set in Indianapolis. We’re talking about the show we’re about to watch across the sky brown.

It’s going to be amazing. And this is either the best idea or the worst idea. Set aside. Aside all journalistic credibility. Yes, we’re having fun today. You did that many, many years ago. Imagine being a producer and coming up with the idea and then purchasing the costumes and then the hosts again, having signed their contract to make their millions of dollars a year. They have no agency over what it is that they do, how they look, what they say.

The producer tells you to put on these corny costumes, you must do it. Basically, what’s going to happen? If I can reenact, the moon will be going in front of the sun for a sun chez in this point. And that’s a partial. I think we’ve got a full eclipse there. This is kind of where things are right now. Yeah, right there. All right. Just where things are right now.

And Masatlan, this is how things are. All right. On the clown news network. Meanwhile, in my online store@markdice. com. Comma, the long awaited christ is king shirt is finally available in a black or a white t shirt. I’ll try to add some other colors and some other styles as well, like a long sleeve and a hoodie. But for now, the black t shirt, the white t shirt is available@markdice.

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