Old Joe held his first press conference of the year last night and as soon as the first question was asked it became crystal clear even to regular CNN viewers why his staff and his wife have been hiding him away from the American people this whole time and even more scandalous that the liberal media has been complicit in the cover-up of his mental incapacitation. What concerns do you have about Vice President Harris’s ability to beat Donald Trump if she were at the top of the ticket? Look, I wouldn’t have picked Vice President Trump to be Vice President but I think she was not qualified to be President so let’s start there.

Number one. If I didn’t see this live on television with my own eyes I would have given it a 50% chance that this was just a deep fake and a meme but that was his actual answer. In his mind this is the Vice President which may be one of the most horrifying images that I have ever seen. Moments before that after reading a scripted speech from a teleprompter he made the mistake of revealing that his handlers had given him specific instructions as usual of who to call on. With that I’ll take your questions.

I’ve been given a list of people to call on here. Reuters. Jeff Mason. Well at least he didn’t admit that he would get in trouble if he didn’t follow instructions. You guys are bad. I’m not supposed to be answering all these questions I’m supposed to leave but I can’t resist your questions. But his troubles began even earlier when the NATO summit was wrapping up and he tried to introduce President Zelensky who flew here all the way from Ukraine because he wants to be a part of NATO hoping to suck us into World War III and then this happened.

And now I want to hand it over to the President of Ukraine who has as much courage as he has determination. Ladies and gentlemen President Putin. President Putin. You can beat President Putin. President Zelensky. I’m so focused on beating Putin we got to worry about it. Anyway. Anyway. President. I’m better. You are hell of a better. The rest of the press conference was as you would expect him mumbling incoherently and unable to finish sentences. We you know we just put together with today we had we brought on I asked our NATO allies that we bring on the group from the South Pacific Australia New Zealand Japan Australia.

I already mentioned Australia. The press conference which was scheduled weeks ago was supposed to be about NATO but instead every single question was about the elephant in the room which can’t be ignored any longer at this point. This was his response to a question about him now wrapping up his evenings after four o’clock. And if you look to my schedule since I’ve since I made that stupid mistake of and the campaign and the debate. He means the mistake of doing the debate. I mean my schedule has been full bore. I’ve done where’s when where’s Trump at riding around his golf cart feeling on his scorecard before he hits the ball.

I mean look he’s done virtually nothing. Well Donald Trump was completely silent for over a week after the debate because why would he want to interrupt such a glorious news cycle. He went on to blame his staff for booking too many events past his bedtime. I love my staff but they add things add things all the time. Very I’m catching hell for my wife anyway. Anyway and as usual poor old Joe got stuck on repeat. Look folks this is a well anyway anyway in the next debate I’m not going to be traveling in just 15 time zones a week before.

Anyway I’m catching hell for my wife anyway it wasn’t about just anyway. Read what he’s objective is and anyway but then again you’re better than a lot of other people here too but anyway. Every single time he opened his mouth he further embarrassed himself and his party and our country. I’m following the advice of my commander in chief my my my uh excuse me sir you are the commander in chief and because every time old Joe steps in front of a camera which he’s not going to be able to avoid doing entirely for the next four months he digs himself his administration and the democrat party deeper and deeper into an embarrassing whole they don’t know what to do.

I think that the question is what is the plan moving forward and I think 99% of them don’t know the answer to that question right for all intensive purposes if you’re on the campaign in the White House you Joe Biden has said he’s running he’s going to stick it out as a nominee that is what you were planning to do is that what the result ends up being I don’t think we know the answer to that yet. Have you been surprised how many leaks there have been in the last few weeks? Yes very surprised because the powers that be want him gone and not necessarily because they don’t think that he’s able to win against Donald Trump because if he was declared the winner again then everybody is going to know that there was some funny business going on behind the scenes with those certain machines that you’re not supposed to question the security or accuracy of so the plan appears to be to swap him out for Gavin Newsom and then the media will crown him the savior of the democrat party and project an artificial insurgency and a rejuvenation of hope in the democrat party and then if he supposedly wins the election then it would look a lot less suspicious than if old Joe were to win.

So as strange as it sounds we need to support old Joe as the democrat nominee because that is by far the best strategy for us if that’s not the case then we might have some problems and at his press conference last night old Joe admitted that the delegates at the DNC which is being held in Chicago in about five weeks may not actually vote for him although he’s still confident that they will but he’s also delusional and senile. Your convention is coming up where your delegates are pledged to make you the official nominee if they have second thoughts are they free to vote their conscience? Obviously they’re free to do what they want but I get overwhelming support overwhelming support I won how I forget how many votes I won in the primary overwhelming and so tomorrow if all of a sudden I show up at the convention everybody says we want somebody else that’s the democratic process it’s not going to happen.

Now I’m really getting worried even Brian Stelter who has been volunteering for CNN ever since he got fired a few years ago we all miss Brian and thankfully he’s back as literally a volunteer he has not been rehired he doesn’t have a show he isn’t a paid contributor he is literally a volunteer and even he sees the writing on the wall here he is talking about George Clooney turning on old Joe let’s face it he is one of the 10 or 12 most famous men in the world his words carry real weight and he knew what he was doing writing this op-ed right speaking on behalf of many of his friends you know remember in grade school Sarah when we all learned about icebergs and how only the top of the iceberg appears above the water there’s usually a lot more underneath the water that’s what I think we’re experiencing right now in Capitol Hill in Hollywood and other democratic enclaves we’re seeing some of the iceberg above the water with people like Clooney speaking publicly but there’s a lot more beneath the surface well thank you little Brian for explaining the tip of the iceberg metaphor to us as if we’re first graders someone else who’s being treated like a first grader is old Joe because well he about has the mental capacity of one who’s doing a big boy press conference that seriously what they called his big event yesterday big boy press conference a big boy press conference hold a press conference a big boy press conference press conference I guess a big boy press conference is what we’re calling it the press conference the big boy press conference y’all are planning to have and while the entire country if not the world is either saddened by old joe forgetting who his vice president was at the big press conference yesterday and unable to finish sentences as usual.

There was one person on planet Earth who thought that the entire press conference went off without a hitch and that is TikToker Harry Sisson. President Biden just gave an hour long press conference with no notes, no teleprompter, no knowledge of the questions beforehand and he executed it perfectly. He got tough questions and gave great answers. He talked in depth about foreign policy and the issues facing the United States. So can we get over this Biden’s too old? Can we get over this he’s not fit to serve? That is a man who just that is a man who doesn’t know who his vice president is.

That is a man who called President Zelensky President Putin in front of the entire world. Now I’m not showing this video to show how insane many of the zoomers are. This kid is plugged in directly with the Biden campaign. He’s been meeting with old Joe and Obama before Obama threw him under the bus through his surrogate of George Clooney and Harry Sisson. Harry Sissy has almost a million followers on TikTok. This kid is the next Brian Stelter and at this point in the video you’re probably expecting me to segue into plugging some of my t-shirts at markdice.com but this time you would be wrong.

First we’re going to look at some of the t-shirts over at joe Biden.com. They do have an official store over there which features merch like this throwback Joe t-shirt which is literally a picture of old joe from 60 years ago who nobody’s going to recognize and I guarantee you nobody has bought. Even more cringe-worthy is the throwback Kamala shirt which is a picture of her at her high school or college graduation. Certainly they couldn’t post anything more cringe-worthy than this could they? Oh wait what’s this? It’s the Biden hair shirt and just get a load of her or they or them or whatever.

Or instead you could head over to markdice.com and get yourself a magnamafia shirt, an appeal to heaven shirt, a teflon dodge shirt or any of my awesome designs. Now most available at tank top for summer as well so head on over to markdice.com or click the link in the description below and check them out!
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